


Home is where your heart sleeps

by katbux



Series: Elijah/Niklaus [1]
Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Amnesiac Elijah, Jealous Elijah, Kid Fic, Klaus can't stay away, Longing, M/M, Post-Season/Series 04, Slash, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-07 00:03:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14659023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katbux/pseuds/katbux
Summary: First I spent 5 years without you, rotting in Marcel’s dungeon while you were possibly dying from his venom.Then the Hollow thing, when I thought  you’ve met your true death and I couldn’t breath, sleep or think before you were returned to my side. And then, end of our family and your amnesia.How could you do that? How could you choose to forget me?Don’t you know already that I cannot exist in this world without you?





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey Eli! Your mysterious stranger is back!” Michel the bartender good naturally teases me as I come to work. We are colleagues for four years now, working together in a small bar at the south of France. Michel knows all there is about my Stranger, because that is what I call him. He always stands all night in a dark corner, slowly sipps his bourbon and watches me play. He never approaches anyone, never talks to anyone just stands there, listening.

Michel thinks he is creepy and possibly dangerous. He tried to convince Eli to call the police, have them remove him, but I refused. And I forbid Michel from doing it instead of me.

I can not wait to see him again, Stranger was away for almost a week. A week I spent jittery, worrying about him. How ridiculous, being worried about a man I know nothing about, I have never even talked to. But there is something about the man that pulls at the very core of my being, something that says that we belong together, even if I can not explain it.

I play for him, play all night just for him. I carefully select the songs that I know he favours, I observed him enough nights to know his favorites. It’s been years after all, years since I started playing here, since I came to France and saw my Stranger for the first time.

In all these years I never found the courage to approach him. Maybe it would be different if I didn’t know we’re both vampires. Well, I am a vampire. Eli doesn’t know what the Stranger is, he smells like a vampire but at the same time not.

Suddenly a fight starts somewhere behind the pianist’s back. Two men fighting over a woman, slightly drunk, not noticing how close they are getting to Eli. In a blink of an eye they are flung across the room into the bar. The Stranger stands protectively behind my back, he is still as a statue, only Eli’s heightened senses allowed him to see how quickly he moved from his usual spot and grabbed the men.

Apparently satisfied that the drunks won't bother them, the Stranger places his warm hand on Eli’s shoulder and he can hear his voice for the first time: “Continue.” Is all he says and Eli knows, that he will hear that voice in his dreams tonight.  
The Stranger returns back to his spot in the corner and I continue to play for him. It’s almost midnight when the Stranger turns away, ready to leave. Without thinking I jump up “Wait! Please wait.” I’m lost at what to say, I just can not bear the thought of him leaving again. The Stranger turns halfway back, slowly as if he is fighting against his better judgement and looks at me questioningly. “I, I wanted to thank you. Please stay, let me buy you a drink”


	2. Chapter 2

He looks so beautiful, so young and carefree. I never realized how heavy is the burden on Elijah’s shoulders until I saw him without it.

I know what I risk by being here, but I am a weak man. I tried, tried so hard to keep my distance. I spent the first year of our separation in Asia, trying to be as far away from my siblings as possible. The only one I talked to was Freya and for a while it was enough, it was enough because she told me how Becka is happy with Marcel living in New York, how Kol and Davina are traveling in Italy, but she had no news of him.

I never knew how to live without my brother. He was always my anchor, the one person I could count on, who I trusted the most.  
Even in those rare cases when I daggered him in the past, I did it only when necessary, when the danger to him was too high. And even when he was daggered, lifeless in his coffin, I used to sit with him, talk to him.

No news, no words from him were pure torture. So after a year I caved, but just a little bit. I used to compel humans and vampires alike to go to France, to watch him, take pictures, videos, anything. I was grateful for every single piece of information.

After a while I started to worry, who is protecting him with his sire line dead? What if someone decides to take a challenge to take down an original? Our blood was powerful and we learned that there are those who never stop pursuing us.

The thought was like a stain on my consciousness, one that could not be removed by any means. Every day, every hour it was in my head - what if…

I told myself I will be satisfied with one look, one look and I will leave him with compelled bodyguards who will protect him at any cost.  
Oh how I lied to myself, because the moment I saw him I was home. I was where I belonged, always and forever.

I called Freya that very first night in France and begged her to look for a different solution. To find a way how can the Mikaelson Clan be together once more. I did not tell her where I am, I told her that it is my daughter I so sorely miss. I did not want her to know about Elijah being my rock and I was sure that with him at my side, I will be able to conquer anything, even the Hollow at least for some time.

For years, every night I was in town I came to his bar and listened to him play. I left him only in case I found a threat too big for others to take care of.

This is the first time he spoke to me. “Please wait, please stay” _please don’t leave me_ , his eyes seem to say.  
Is it possible he feels it too? Feels our bond even if he does not remember it?  
He walks towards me and grabs my hand. “Talk to me, or not. Just don’t go yet. You were away for so long.”

So he noticed my absence. Nothing pleased me that much for a long long time. I look into his eyes and can not bare to disappoint him again, so I slide the palm of my hand into his and lead him from the bar. I feel like I will suffocate if we stay there for a minute longer, in this bar full of strangers who think they know him, who think he belongs to them in some fashion.

And we walk and walk, while the living speed around us.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late afternoon and I was still laying in my bed. I will have to prepare for work soon, but I still have few minutes to spare, to daydream about him. Niklaus, my Stranger.

We walked the city till dawn, roamed the old narrow streets hand in hand, not saying a word. I don’t know whether it was instinct or luck, but for hours we did not meet a soul. I had a feeling like we're the last living creatures in the world, like the moon shone only for the two of us.

When the first rays of sun reached the horizon I realized he is leading me to my house. He did not hesitate for a second, knowing exactly where I live. I know I should be scared, everyone would be upon finding out that  their stalker knows where their house is, but I found it oddly comforting. He stopped in front of the main gate, suddenly looking unsure what to do. All I wanted was to kiss him, but I was afraid that I’ll spook him, that I’ll move too quickly and he will run never to be found again.

He started to turn away when I took the courage, not to kiss but to ask the question I wanted to ask for such a long time: “Who are you?”

 “Niklaus” he said and disappeared so quickly that even my enhanced senses could not catch it.

 

The moment I walked into the bar my eyes were on his corner. It was empty, but he sometimes showed up later on so I sat down and started to play. He did not come. Not on that night, nor any other night of the week or the month. I was still maestro pianist but the joy, the passion turned into ash in my mouth. It could not console my grief. I couldn't bare the thought of sitting there, waiting for him. So I left, I left and went to look for him.

I knew he is a vampire, at least a part of him. I could smell the blood on him sometimes. And if one knows where to look, the signs of a vampire are always visible.

 I followed his trail, the trail of bruised necks and empty looks through french countryside. When I finally reached him I had to laugh, from all the places he could pick, he picks an old castle at the borders of France and Switzerland that looks like from Stoker’s novel. I was almost surprised not to find it dark and full of cobwebs inside.

  


I find him in a library, he is painting. I know he must be aware that I am here, but he does not stop, does not turn to me so I venture closer, curious about his art. The painting is far from finished, but the scene is clear. It is the bar where I played, I’m sitting at the piano, head turned down to the keyboard. The room around me is crimson, crimson with the blood of the corpses lying around.

What is it? Is it a dream? Hidden desire? If he wants me for himself, why did he run?

I stand there and watch him paint for hours, stand right behind his right shoulder while the painting comes alive. I’m trying to show him that his desires and possessiveness won’t drive me away, that I won’t leave him no matter what he will do. What he will show me.

If someone asked, I wouldn’t be able to explain why. I was happy, I loved to play the piano, to go to the bar every evening, talk to people…. But then he showed up and it suddenly wasn’t enough, suddenly I could not be satisfied without knowing where he is and that he is safe. Michel used to make fun of him calling him my stalker, but the truth was that if I had the means to follow him, I would do the same. But every time I tried, he escaped. I tried thousand times to follow him home or to find him during the day, with no avail.

 It’s been hours when he finishes the painting, he slowly cleans his brushes and turns to me.

“Elijah” he breaths, one word that can say so many. It is a question (Why are you here?) and it is a confession (I’m so relieved to see you.), but I do not reply. No by words anyway, I take his arm and lead him to the green ottoman in the middle of the bookshelves. I sit down and pull him to sit down with me, his back to my front. I can feel the tension leaving him with every second, every small touch. He ends up lying on me, finally relaxed with head pillowed on my shoulder when I whisper into his ear:

 

“Sleep my Niklaus. I’m here, I will guard your dreams.”


	4. Chapter 4

I was afraid. For myself, for him, for Hope, for my family. I had to leave, now or never again. The last night in France showed me how easy it would be to give in, to forget about the threat of the Hollow and just be together once again.

 

He found me anyway.

  
  
  


He found me and watched me paint, just standing behind my shoulder not touching but close enough to feel his presence. The way he always did, even if he did not remember he instinctively knew where to stand. Either the compulsion weakened by the time or it was pure instinct on his part. Both were possible, but I wished for the first to be true, I wished for him to look at me and know me. He always knew me better than I knew myself anyway.

I did not know what to say, I could not make myself send him away. I am a weak man and when he pulled me to the sofa and made me lie against him, I could not resist. We used to sleep together like that back when we were human. He always placed me to the edge of the hut and lied behind me, protecting my back from Father.

It’s been thousand years since the last time we did it and our embrace is still the same. The same and different at the same time. Same in the way how safe, warm and  loved it makes me feel. Different because he is not simply sleeping, no he is not asleep at all. His cheek is resting at the top of my head and from time to time I can feel him plant small kisses into my hair. His hands are constantly moving, stroking my arms, cheeks, belly… anywhere they can reach.

I know he knows I’m awake now, but it does not hinder him. I don’t know what to think. I turn my head slowly, intent on asking him what he knows, why is he here but he stops me by simply laying his finger on my lips.

We are so close right now, breathing the air the other released, I can see his pupils dilate as he slowly bends his head towards mine.

He rests his forehead against mine like we used to do, but he does not stop there. Instead he bends his head even more and plants a gentle kiss on my lips. The kiss gets gradually deeper and more intense and makes me cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. Before I know it I kiss him back.

A shutter slams against the window and it makes me jump. It is like waking from a trance, what have I done? I have never kissed a man, let alone my own brother!

My brother… my mind can not wrap around this, I can not think when he holds me so.

 

I need to get away. I jump off of the sofa and turn to the door, ready to run. “Niklaus!” I turn to look at him, I can not resist but to react to the command in his voice. “I will expect you for dinner.”

I just nod.

I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I know only one thing, my world tilted on its axis and it keeled right over.

  
  
  
  
  


He kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me. It went like a mantra in my head, I could not seem to get over my shock. I hid in my room with few bottles of bourbon, going through every interaction we had since leaving New Orleans.

Where did he get the impression that I was interested in him romantically? How did I mislead him so? Because I’m sure this is my fault, he can not be blamed. He does not remember how our family, our father looked upon such relationship between two men. An abomination, like I was in his eyes.

I was too young then, too innocent to properly understand, but I can recall few beatings when he caught me looking at my brothers’ fight for too long, looking at Elijah… I was trying to recall those forgotten feelings of my youth, those thoughts that I never really finished even in my own head, too afraid of the tyrant.

 

I did not realize how late it is until I heard his footsteps coming closer, I spent hours here but did not find any solution. What should I do? I was curious and tempted,  but what if Freya finds a way how to get rid of the Hollow and he can get his memories back? What would he think of me? Would he think me sick? Unnatural? Would he finally see me as the abomination my Father always saw?

He walks in, but stays standing next to the door. “I’m sorry for the kiss Niklaus. After all this time, I assumed you feel the same way. I know I was wrong now, I will leave you.” He looks defeated and tired. The confident man who walked into the library and kissed me just few hours ago is now gone and it hurts me to see him like that.

Maybe it would be for the best, but… “No! Don’t leave me again!” I can see he is surprised, he did not expect me to hold him back. Let’s face it, how probable is it that Freya will find a different solution? She fruitlessly tried for five years.

I want to make him happy. I want him to have whatever it is he wants, even if it is me, but I must ask: “Don’t you think it’s unnatural?”

“Unnatural?” he laughs “Says one vampire to another. We are the very personification of unnatural Niklaus, we should never exist and yet.” he shrugs “I don’t care if it is or is not natural. I want to touch you, to kiss you. Don’t you want it too?”

“Yes, I do.” and to show him I really mean it, I initiate the kiss this time. I push him gently against the wall and press my lips against his. I can not  stop feeling like inexperienced young boy, stealing his first kisses behind a barn. I stutter a little bit as I feel his hands sliding under my shirt, I’m not sure I’m ready for this, ready to have sex, but like always my brother can read me like an open book. “We will take it slowly Niklaus, don’t worry. I swear I would never hurt you, we will take this as slowly as you need.” He punctuates his words by several smaller kisses planted on my lips and cheeks while his hands gently slide from under my T-shirt to wrap around my waist. “Come on. Lets eat.”


	5. Chapter 5

Our first kiss felt so so right until the moment he jumped up and panicked. I made him promise me he will come back for dinner but I knew the chances of that were small.

 

What will I do when he won’t show up?

He never said he wanted me, but I know how to read between the lines, take that painting as an example. It is clear that he was jealous of the other people in the bar and wanted me only for himself.

How to make him confess? I think he struggles with admitting it to himself let alone to me. I sense some kind of bad experience behind it or maybe a relationship between two men was  taboo in times when he was a human.

Maybe if I pretended to leave he will be forced to act.

 

I had the servants prepare dinner in one of the smaller dining rooms and went to get him. He spent whole day in his room, I saw him carrying several bottles of bourbon there, I hope he is not drunk.

He is not, the bottles stand unopened on a small table near the window while Niklaus lies on the bed.

I remain by the door, trying not to spook him. I hesitantly start with my plan: “I’m sorry for the kiss Niklaus….”

 

It worked like a charm! He didn’t want me to leave, he even kissed me by his own choice. I could see how nervous he was about the kiss, but he did it anyway. It proved beyond any doubt that he wants me too. He sealed his fate with that kiss, because now I’m never leaving his side again.

  


We stay in the castle for a month, reading, painting, kissing… We did not get beyond the kissing yet, but I don’t mind. Okay so I mind, but I can live with it, I have eternity to woo him into my bed. Life is good, but boring. There are not that many people living in the castle, well not anymore a vampire needs to eat after all.

We’re in the library again, sitting on the ottoman where we first kissed. I’m getting very fond of this piece of furniture, I would take it we me when we leave if it wasn’t so impractical. He lies with his head in my lap, allowing me to stroke his golden curls while he reads. I love to watch him read, especially if it’s a book I know. You can read his facial expressions easily and I always play this little game where I’m guessing which part is he reading just by looking at his face. Luckily he is vain enough not to mind my staring. I learned so many things about him, he is no longer a stranger to me.

He used to be some sort of viking once, but he hates to talk about the times he was human, so I don’t push him. Instead I ordered several viking romances online, gay and straight alike, and pretended to read them from time to time. His horrified look is very amusing. It was even funnier when I caught him reading it  once when he thought me asleep. He was muttering how ridiculous it is, but finished it to the very end.

He is thousand years old and he is a hybrid of a vampire and werewolf.

 

“You are thinking too loud Elijah.” he says, with adorably put upon sigh. “Are you bored?”

“Not bored precisely. I want to take you for a date, but it’s hard to find the right location here. I’m missing life in a city a little. If we would like to go to theatre here, we would have to travel at least hundred kilometers and the quality would be subpar.”

“There is nothing holding us here, we can go anywhere in the world. Do you have a preference?” “No, not really, but I’d like to stay in Europe.”

  
  
  


We went to London. I suggested Rome at first, but Niklaus did not want to go to Italy. It is too hot and full of tourist, he said. Niklaus has a house in London, even though he was not there for two hundred years.

We took London by storm, there wasn’t a night when we did not go out be it to theatres, Covent Garden or clubs.

 

Unfortunately we won’t be staying long. There was an accident when we were in a club tonight. One man thought it would be acceptable to make advances towards my Niklaus. It is needless to say he is dead now, torn into pieces together with the rest of the club’s visitors. What can I say, I despise when people touch my things. I don’t even remember how it happened, but suddenly there is the guy screaming like a little girl and his right arm, the arm he used to touch my Niklaus is in my hand, completely separated from his body.

 

I’m trying to gauge Niklaus’ mood as we’re riding home from the club, afraid he will find my possessiveness and temper repulsive, but he does not seem mad at me. He actually looks quite pleased.

We do not speak until we’re back at our house.

“You know we need to leave righ? There is no way for police or hunters to overlook the massacre there.” I nod, unwilling to argue with him.

“I’m not mad Elijah, don’t worry. I killed men for far less. I actually find it very very hot.” He says while kissing my neck. “Niklaus, don’t push me if you don’t want to take this further. I won’t be able to resist you if you continue.” My arousal is spiking, it's been two months since we’re together and all we did so far is kissing. I promised him not to push, but it’s getting harder and harder. Especially after I saw other people touching him, the need to mark him as my own is almost overwhelming.

“What if I want you to lose control?” He smiles at me from beneath his lashes, the little tease. I pick him up, wrapping his legs around my hips and kiss him. “All you needed to do was to say a word.”

 

I bring him to our bedroom as quickly as I can, kissing  him the whole way. I don't want to stop in case he'd change his mind. As soon as we’re there I let go of his legs and start ripping his shirt off. I walk him back towards the bed and once his legs hit the edge I shove him onto it.

I’m on him the second he hits the matrace, touching all that perfect skin I was denied before.

My movements are almost frantic when he lays a hand on my cheek and makes me look at him: “Slow down my darling Elijah, I’m not going anywhere, you don’t have to rush.” He is right of course, I was so excited to finally have him I forgot this is his first time with a man. What a disaster this could be. I turn my head and plant a kiss into the palm resting on my cheek. “I’m sorry my love. I did not mean to scare you.”

From then on was our lovemaking slow and gentle. I had sex with many people in my long life, I don’t even remember half of them, but this moment will be forever in my memory.

I  can not describe how beautiful he looked like in the throws of passion, the beauty of his flushed skin…. And I could not help but confess how much I adore him right before I fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I was a fool for not sleeping with him sooner, for allowing Michael’s prejudices to still influence my life. There is nothing wrong or unnatural about how he made me feel, or about the pleasure we shared.

A was a fool for not believing his intentions with me either. I remember his love interests of past Tatia, Aya, Haley, how he promised to love only them, but left them behind in the end. I was afraid that he will find someone better or that he will get angry with me and leave. It happened in the past before, there were decades when I did not hear a word from him.

I was and still am afraid of fully risking my heart, to give him the power, that will allow him to control me. Because I know I never really loved before, all those women in my past were nothing more than infatuations, short term interests and I could survive their loss.

But to lose his love is unimaginable, with them I could return back to my family, with him I would have no one. I know Bekah, Freya and Haley would side with him, would think this a cruel joke or a manipulation on my part. Without him I would rather die and my immortality would become even worse curse than it already is.

 

But seeing him in that club, literally tearing a man limb by limb just because of touching me was… was… I can’t even begin to explain how happy it made me. I’ve never seen him jealous before, even when Haley married Jackson. Yes, he was sad, but this rage, this rage was only for me. It reminds me more of an obsession than a love as romance novels describe it. It should scare me, but instead it reassures me. People fall out of love every day for the stupidest reasons, but getting rid of an obsession, that could take a lifetime

 

We were supposed to leave London the first thing in the morning, cover our tracks but when I woke up I could not force myself out of the bed. He was sleeping on my chest, effectively pinning me down and I could not force myself to wake him up. I lie there, hand stroking his back and think back to the differences between this man and my brother.

Because there are differences and quite significant ones. He is more relaxed and he lost that perfectly sculpted mask. He no longer wears three-piece suit, the obsession with keeping his appearance impeccable is gone. It means he is no longer so afraid to lose control, maybe he forgot the red door when he forgot our family or maybe he forgot the teachings of our mother on how much of an abomination of the nature we all are. He reminds me more of his younger self than the Elijah I’ve got to know when he returned back to my side  after I became a hybrid, the one that tried to kill me multiple times…

Enough! I won’t think of those times anymore, that is in the past. It was different me, I did not have Hope, Kol was daggered because he went mental and Bekah for projecting her love for Marcell to another unfortunate soul and most importantly I was newly turned hybrid, I was unable to deal with the emotion the release of my wolf side caused. We were both very different men back then.

It is funny, isn’t it? We live for thousand years, but it’s less than a decade since I’m hybrid and so much changed since then...

 

I feel him stir, he rubs his nose against my pectoral with a little whine. I stroke his hair, trying to calm him down. I would not mind if he sleeps in a little, even if vampires technically do not need sleep, he is much more agreeable if he slept at least a little bit.

 

“Tell me what makes you so grumpy this morning darling. I’ll kill it.” Elijah just hufs into my neck, amused. “It’s your own healing. All the pretty hickeys I made you last night are gone now.” he pouts adorably. But I can not tell him that, he would get all offended, because big badass vampires do not pout. So I try to take his mind off of it. “Hmmm, how about you try to make me some more?” That does it. Elijah is successfully distracted and starts to mouth at my neck while his left hand plays with my nipple. I instinctively spread my legs to get him as close as I can, my hands clutching at his back to pull him even closer, all thoughts of leaving gone.

I let him bite me for a little while, then decide to show him I’m not gonna be the pliant receiver in this relationship. I bend my legs to get the leverage I need and I flip us over. “Now, now my sweet Elijah. It’s time you’re the one taken apart.” I say as I rub my ass against his length. “You did all the work last night, now it’s my turn to make you squirm.” “Anything you want my love, I’m yours.” A pride swells inside me, he gave himself to me and I swear he won’t regret it, I will blow his mind.

I scoot off of him and slide my arms underneath his knees and sharply tug him towards me. He looks so sexy spread out for me, I have to stop and simply watch for a moment. Only once he impatiently yells my name I move forward, placing his legs around my hips and presing our cocks against each other. “What am I to do with you darling? You were awfully bossy yesterday, hmm?” I say as I start to rub my cock against his.

“Niklaus, please do not tease me like this. If you won’t tease me, I promise you to let you be as bossy as you want today.” he promises while trying to seduce me with his eyes. I can not help to laugh at that, he would let me… “I am Klaus Mikaelson darling, no one makes me do anything I don’t want to. I should punish you just for suggesting such a blasphemy.” I nip his ear quite harshly, but instead of yelping as I expected he actually moans and arches his back to be closer to me. I start a trail of bites around his neck, careful to use my human teeth, while still rubbing my cock against his. It is the most delicious torment, I’m getting closer to the edge but I’m suddenly unsure. How should I, or should he…? I do not even realize I stopped my ministrations till I hear him say:

 

“What is it dearest Niklaus? Can’t decide If you’d rather fuck me or get fucked?” he mocks me. I will show him!

“Oh, I can decide, don’t you worry.” With that I scoot up the bed until I’m straddling his face and without further warning I shove my cock into his insolent mouth.

I hoped to take him down a peg, maybe choke him just a little bit, instead he starts to suck and I almost fall off of the bed. The arm that held me braced against the headboard collapses from the sheer pleasure flowing through my veins.

He uses the fact that my control is slipping and somehow picks me up and shoves me back. My back hits the matrace and his mouth is back on my cock. He is laying on my hips and legs, completely pinning me down. All I can do is writhe underneath him and pull his hair when the suction gets too much. When I come I have a feeling my cock will never be the same.

I can not move. I don’t want to move, but I’m not such a dick as to leave him hanging, so I try to sit up. He shoves me back down “Lie down Niklaus and look at me.” he straddles my waist, his knees under my arms and starts to strip his cock right above me. I am mesmerized by the control visible in his movements and the flexing of his forearm. “Look me in the eyes! And don’t look away.” I can not help myself, I can not resist the commanding tone I don’t have enough brain power left. He stares into my eyes while the pleasure visible in his eyes grows. Suddenly he moans and closes his eyes and my chest and little bit of chin is covered in his cum. He collapses besides me, throws a leg over mine and pillows his head on my arm.

 

I can sense him watching me, I can tell he is getting nervous the longer I am silent.

I like to let him squirm and truth to be told few years back he would have a very good reason to, but I’m not such a control freak anymore. Ever since Michael and Esther met their true death, I was trying to let go a little bit. It gets tiring to keep control of everything and everyone, especially if you know deep down that it is not your strong suit. I was never able to achieve the level of control he’s got, not even over myself. My temper always got me.

To show him I am not mad at him, I swirl my finger in the cum on my chest and bring it to my mouth. It is not only to appease him, I also want to know how does he taste. Not good, I’m not gonna lie it’s pretty disgusting.

I can see him laughing at me and trying to hide it in my shoulder, I always though I have a great poker face but he was always able to read me. So I do the only thing a mature, millenium old vampire can do in such a situation.

 

I hit him over the head with a pillow.


	7. Chapter 7

Getting out of London is getting harder and harder. There are no dark forces or hunters behind us, it’s just our incapability to stay separated and not fuck each other on every available surface.

I fucked him in the shower, he finally got to bend me over the sofa in the living room, a little blow job in the kitchen… and suddenly it’s almost evening and we did not even start to pack yet. The truth is I don’t want to leave, I see no reason to. We just got here, I don’t want to run and hide! I like London very much and I can imagine living here for several years.

 

I’m in the kitchen again, having some snack when he hugs me from behind. “I know I said it like five times already, but we really need to leave darling.” “Why Niklaus? Why do we have to leave? I want to stay. I’m not afraid of hunters or whoever might come after us, we’re both strong, no one can take us.” I turn to face him while I speak, my temper rising.

“Why didn’t you say something earlier? If you don’t want to leave we don’t have to. I am not afraid of staying, I just thought you’d like to avoid the bother with some teritorial turfs. If you want to stay, we stay.” he shakes his head fondly and plants a small kiss onto my lips. I feel quite embarrassed right now, I was acting like an idiot.

  


So we stay and we buy a new house because Niklaus says if we’re to call London our home we need to have a proper house. Or a Mansion actually, because this monument can’t be just simply called a house. It’s next to the Regent’s park and the building was designed by the same architect who designed the Buckingham palace, Niklaus mentioned it at least three times already. I had very little objections to the interior design proposed by him we had very similar tastes. I intervened only few times.

First, the house needs to be little bit more bright, if it would be up to Niklaus each room would be full of dark furniture and heavy drapes. I am a vampire, not Dracula and I do not fancy to live like him.

Second, I wanted to have as many Niklaus’ paintings in the house as possible, in each room there was at least one and the one he painted when I found him in Switzerland was in our bedroom, opposite of our bed. He pretended not to care, but I could feel how pleased he was.

Third time was when I demanded that he procures me that green ottoman from Switzerland. It is needless to say that I had it by the end of the week and it was placed in our private sitting room. It was also christened the moment it was unpacked.

  


The first challengers appear when I am alone, cowards. My paranoid lover stayed in the Mansion overseeing the contractors, but I could not listen to all that noise anymore. So I took my book and went to find a place where I can read in piece, maybe have a glass of wine too.

It was on my way home when my senses detected elevated heartbeats around me, seven of them. First I thought them thugs, but as they came closer I was able to tell they are werewolves. Curious of what they want I tried to make it easier for them and walked through a narrower alley. I’ve been in the middle of the alley when they closed off the exits on both sides.

I stop, but do not say a word. They should make the first move.

One of them, apparently the leader approaches me. “Who are you? Vampires are not welcomed in this city. This one belongs to us!”

“How rude of you. Where are your manners? You won’t introduce yourself and yet demand to know my name. All you need to know that I am a vampire, an awfully strong one at that. As I see it you have only two options: run and die or kneel.” So I like to provoke hot headed werewolves, sue me. It’s been years since I’ve been in a proper fight. They react as expected and charge me at once. It is over so quickly, that it’s ridiculous.  I do not even kill them, just blatantly show them how easy it would be. Once I’m at the end of the alley, I look back at the heaps laying on the ground: “This is no longer your city, it is ours.” I think it is only polite to inform them about the change of leadership. We did not discuss it with Niklaus yet, but I am sure he would agree, that leaving such a city in hands of these lesser beings would not be smart.

 

Niklaus was furious. I came home and he was immediately at my side. He could smell both the werewolves and my own blood. I scraped my hand on the wall during the fight and despite the injury not even registering in my mind properly, he can smell my blood on me together with theirs.

I let him went his frustration in a long speech about how he’ll make them suffer for even thinking of hurting me. He is so passionate about it, it makes me all warm inside. I adore how protective he is of me, how far he is willing to go if he thinks someone wronged me. He never said he loved me back, but this tells me that it will happen one day, that he really does love me and it is only his inability to properly word his feelings that is keeping him from confessing them.

I stop him only when he starts to the door intent on chasing the offenders. He should not chase them, I am sure we will soon have visit from the local pack. No alpha I’ve met would leave the challenge I’ve issued unanswered.

“Calm down my love. They did not hurt me, they did not even get close.” I pull him into my embrace, sliding my hands beneath his shirt. I start  rubbing soothing circles on his back and try to take his mind off of the bloodlust running through his veins. “You know what I find strange about the encounter? They said there are no vampires in this city, only werewolves but werewolves are not strong enough to get rid of us. When I think back to it, there is only very small amount of vampires lately. I wonder what happened.” I never thought of it before, but it is true. I look towards Niklaus, waiting for an answer because surely he must know what happened. “It was the witches, they caused the death of several original vampires which killed their sirelines as well. “You mean if someone kills my original sire, I could die? Just like that?” I step back quickly, panic taking over. I don’t want to die! “Calm down darling, you won’t die. I won’t allow it.” “But how can you…” “Shhh, the way how to kill them is gone. No one can take you from me.”

He pulls me back into his arms, one hand going to my cheek and his thumb rubs slow circles on the skin below my eye. I gradually calm down, the black veins beneath my eye disappearing. However I’m still little shaken by the revelations. I am not used to think about my own mortality.

 

Following days were filled in anticipation, my instincts were telling me that the werewolves will attack soon.

It made me think, werewolves live in a pack, vampires don’t, but even we usually live in a group. Why is Niklaus alone? If he is both vampire and werewolf he must crave company. He does not speak about his past with me and deflects every question about his origin, but he had to have someone, he could not spent those thousand years alone.

Where are they? Why aren’t they with him?

Is it possible that it was those original vampires he mentioned? Those who were killed by witches? It would explain a lot actually. He must have known them personally at least, I could feel his sadness when he spoke of them.

I think it would be good for him to join a pack, to have people to rely on. I think he would be a wonderful alfa of a pack of unruly wolves, he has such a big heart, so much to give… He just needs someone to be there for him, to calm his temper and share the burden of a rule. He needs a partner, someone  he can trust, someone who will be always guarding his back.

Me…

 

“What if you joined their pack? You know, to connect to your werewolf side. Maybe they will make you their alfa if you ask nicely” I say jokingly. “It would be ideal, no? If they would accept you as part of their pack, I mean.”

“It is not that easy Elijah. I can not just march towards them and say Hey, I want to be one of you.” I notice he did not say he doesn’t want to. “And who says there is only one pack? This is a big city. No, I will not approach them, but I promise I will watch them very closely. You have nothing to worry about darling.” I think he wants to, but it is clear that he did not get over the attack on me yet. If I would be a lesser man, I would roll my eyes. “How should I explain to you, that I am not afraid of those pesky dogs? This is not about me, it’s about you. You need a pack, people you can trust!”

“Pack is like a family, just because they are with you, does not mean they can not betray you. I will not do it! I did it once, I turned a bunch of werewolves into hybrids, hoping that they will be mine, but no. They betrayed me, like everybody always does….” he murmurs for himself so quietly, I can barely hear the last few words. He is hurting and it is killing me. “Are they dead?” “Dead? Who?”

“Those that betrayed you!” “Most of them yes, they are.”

“Pity, I would love to have a chance at them. Torture them for decade or two before ripping them into shreds. Why are we not hunting them?” He smiles fondly at me. “I love how bloodthirsty you are my Elijah, but not all of them deserved to die.” So he tells me how he created other hybrids shortly after he himself became one. How he treated them like servants, how he could not control his new partially werewolf nature and it drove them away. Drove them to break the sire link.

“What would you do if you had another chance? If you could create new pack of hybrids?”


	8. Chapter 8

What would I do differently? It does not matter, I don’t want a new pack.

I thought once that I have what it takes to be an alpha. I don’t, I know it now. Not like Haley does. And how could I? I have no idea how a healthy pack should function, I’ve never seen one. I purposely avoided any contact with werewolves for centuries, unwilling to be reminded of my bastard status and heritage.

 

I am so angry with him, he purposely aggravated the local leaders, whoever they might be and put himself in a harm's way. Oh I know that a bite won’t kill him, that all he experiences is mild discomfort and hallucinations, but what if it will break the compulsion Marcell put on him? Or even worse, what if the bite strengthens the power of the Hollow? After all it was she who created the werewolf curse.

I left him there, I did not want him to see my temper rising, even if he is its cause. I can not stand the chance he will look at me with the disappointment, that showed up in his eyes every time I could not keep control.

The truth is, that he pushed me into a corner and I have only two choices left: leave or make a deal with the local pack.

Suddenly the walls of our new home feel oppressing, I have a feeling like to room is shrinking around me, I need to get out, need to run.

 

I run outside, feeling his look on my back. I look behind me and find him standing in the window of our bedroom, palm pressed to the glass. He is so stiff, that for a second I think I see the old him. The one that would not relax even in the safety of his own family. I hate that version of him, I hate that I can not say what he thinks or feels, I hate how cold he is to me.

He was not always like that, he used to have a temper of his own, he was easy to laugh, easy to anger. He was never afraid to show his emotions or his love for me. This changed few centuries after we became vampires. All of us went through ‘I’m a monster depression’ phase, we managed to overcome it, to accept that being a vampire and feeding on blood is in our nature now and let the guilt go. But he did not, he locked that part of himself away behind those infamous red door of his. Oh how many times did I lay awake at night and wished for a way how to get into his head and just kick that bloody door down.

He is closest to his real self in centuries and nothing scares me more that the idea he will get back to how he was, back to hating himself, hating me. I can not allow him to close off himself again. I would do anything to prevent that…. even if it means facing my own furry monster.

 

It will be full moon tomorrow night, a night a pack, at least the Bayou pack always runs together in their wolf forms. Maybe if I join them for a run, they will accept me as he wanted.

I know from Haley that I can achieve the full shift, but I never tried before. For so long the wolf was the reason of my self loathing. Maybe if I would not be a wolf, Michael would not hate me so much and he would not force Mother to turn us.

I know I need to achieve my animal form and quickly, but not here. I really doubt no one would notice a wolf running through the City, but London has many parks where I can hide, I quickly google which one is the biggest - Richmond park.

 

The park is even bigger than I expected, full of deer and smaller mammals, an ideal place for a city pack to hunt. My theory is confirmed when I get deeper, their smell is old, covered by scents of rot and growth common in woods, but it is still there. Probably from their last hunt.

I try to find a place where the smell is strongest, hoping it will help me channel my own wolf. I sit down, leaning against a tree trunk and close my eyes. I talked to Hayley about how she wolfed out for the first time. She killed a guy and when the full moon came, she was forced to change, she had no control over it. And when she became a hybrid, all she had to do was to want it. I am not so foolish as to think it will the same for me.

I turned only once in my lifetime, the very first full moon. The moon over thousand years ago, the very same one that ruined my life and caused Henrik’s death.

The pain I had to endure during and after that moon, made it the worst memory of my life. It was the only time when Elijah sided with Michael instead of me, even going so far as to help him to tie me to a post so Father can whip me. It was the first time in my life I doubted my brother’s devotion to me.

How the times change, back then I suppressed the wolf to please him, now to achieve the same I need to find him and join a pack.

 

I sit under the tree for hours, but I do not see, do not feel the woods around me. For I am elsewhere, I am the in the woods of my youth, where we use to play, run and fight like the innocent, carefree humans we were. But the woods do not ring with laughter anymore, they are dark and quiet, full of danger and ill will.

I know my wolf is in there with me, I did not see him, but his presence is overwhelming.

I can feel his pain and sadness, he feels caged and alone. I continue walking, even though I’m slowly giving up any hope of finding him, I think he avoids me on purpose.

Suddenly there is a pile of rocks in front of me, for hours I saw only trees and more trees, so I can not feel but being apprehensive when I approach it. I find a little opening, barely wide enough for me to squeeze through. I can not stand, I have to go on all four to get inside.

I realize what I found only when I’m fully in. This is where he was locked up, this is the prison where I locked him for centuries. Nothing more than a 3 meters long cave with no light, no wind. I feel sick. I can not help myself, I start to cry at my own cruelty. I sit on the ground and wail like never before, for despite my many crimes I thought myself better man than him, than my Fath.. Mikael. Truth is, I am the same. I blamed the wolf for my misery, when he was the only one truly innocent. I do not deserve the blessing of the wolf, because the wolf is a blessing, just like Ansel said. He is no curse, despite the murder required to unleash him. I can see that now.

I do not know how long it took me to notice him, but he was suddenly there, with me. He was majestic, his coat white and grey like northern winter, his eyes ambers like those I have when I call for my hybrid nature. And he was huge, he towered over me.

How could I ever call him a monster?

 

The shock of seeing him like that for the first time dried my tears, but my throat was still constricted when I tried to talk to him “Please forgive me, I did not know. Did not understand.” I don’t know what to expect, he certainly won’t answer me, but I try to communicate with my eyes, to project my feelings towards him. He stands still as a statue, yellow eyes not wavering, the only time he moves at all is when I reach my hand and try to touch him. He scoffs and moves back, out of my reach.

I sit there for hours, telling him about my life, explaining why I did not release him sooner until my throat is sore. I can not continue anymore, the grief and regret overwhelm me and I lie down at the ground, in my last desperate attempt to get to him I bare my neck, make myself as vulnerable as possible.

He suddenly jumps forward, strong jaw wrapped around the tendons of my neck. I startle, but do not fight back, after all I’ve done to him, he has a full right to kill me.

 

Imagine my surprise when he doesn’t, instead he licks my neck and the teartracks off of my cheeks. He lies down, whining a little and places his big head on my chest. He makes this snuffing sound and lick the bottom of my chin, I can not help but laugh, it tickles. I bury my hands into the thick fur around his ears and I can see his eyes closing in pleasure.

That is when I tell him about Elijah, how he wants us to meet the pack. How my love for him was both the reason he was locked and the reason I am here to free him after all this time.

I closed my eyes during my tale, it is easier to imagine those dark beloved eyes like that, to describe the perfection that is my brother. I feel him move suddenly and when I open my eyes again he is standing above. His snout is almost touching my nose and all I can see are his eyes.

 

 

One minute I’m in the cave, the next one back in the Richmond park, but I am not alone, nor am I in my human form. He is the one in control and my body is that of a wolf, it seems like we are just in time because from the dark of the night jumps a giant black wolf and snarls right at us.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

It has been 32 hours and 27 minutes since he left me.

I’m standing at the window of our bedroom. What if he is never coming back?

 

It has been 34 hours and 15 minutes…

I started pacing the length of the room. What if he is hurt? What if he is dead?

 

It has been 37 hours and 43 minutes…

I can not stop pushing my hands through my hair even if it hurts, even if I have ripped strands tangled in my fingers. What if he left me?

 

It has been 38 hou….

What was that sound?

 

I speed down the staircase until I come to a halt at the last step, for there in the foyer is a wolf. It is white and silver and huge, reaching almost up to my armpits.

It does not approach me, just sits down on its hind legs and studies me, head cocked to one side. I can feel the wolf sizing me up. How did it get here?

I can sense no ill intentions from it, but I remain cautious.

 

It stands up and marches towards me. It, or rather he stops right in front of me, looking up into my face. Its yellow eyes are strangely familiar to me, it is like I’ve seen them before. The wolf huffs a little, I can’t get rid of a feeling that he is annoyed with me.

“I don’t speak wolf, I don’t know what you want from me” I feel silly for talking to him like he could answer, but I am out of options here. I don’t think he would simply let me go and I don’t want to attack him, he didn’t do anything bad to me and I must admit, it is quite beautiful creature.

I startle when he jumps up and places his front paws on my shoulders, I lose balance and topple onto the stairs. The wolf stays on top of me, his front legs now bracketing my head. It makes this strange huffing noise again. I think it is laughing at me!

“Get off me you stupid dog! This is not funny!” I’m bracing myself to push him away, but he has different ideas. He lies down on top of me and starts licking my face. There is slobber everywhere, even in my hair. My hair were already sticking out from my nervous tugging, but now they are standing even more and are all wet! Ewww. I could swear that I can see mirth in the wolf’s eyes.

It is that mischievous look that gives him away.

 

“Niklaus? Is that you?”

He huffs/laughs again and the big canine head moves in assent.

I immediately cease struggling, instead embracing him as much as I can. I have troubles connecting my arms behind his back, that’s how big he is.

“Niklaus” the relief is obvious in my voice “I’m so glad you are here! I thought something bad happened to you. I feared you have left me.” the last part is whispered into the thick coat around his neck, I’m trying to hide the hot tears streaming from my eyes, but I can not suppress the sobs ripping from my throat.

“I’m so sorry beloved, I did not want to push you into something you did not want. Please don’t leave me, I’m begging you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” I continue to sob frantically until I feel the body in my arms change.

I suddenly lie on the stairs with very naked Niklaus on top of me.

I can feel his attempts to move away from me, so I squeeze him even tighter, I’m afraid if I let go even a millimeter he will leave and never come back. I can not let him go, he can’t leave me, he CAN’T! I continue sobbing into his neck until he stops struggling and embraces me back.

It takes few minutes until his words penetrate the panic cloaking my mind.

“Shhh, my darling, do not cry. I am here. I could never leave you my Elijah, I love you more than anything, I would do anything for you. Shhh, dry your tears, even the hounds of hell can not keep me from returning to you. I would be rather dead than without you.”

He continues his litany until I hear more than just his calming tone, until I can understand the actual words he is saying and their actual meaning.

Did he said he loves me? That he did not leave me?

I pull back a little, I suddenly have to see his eyes, desperately need to see that what I’m hearing is the truth. His eyes hold no deception, the only thing I can see in them is tenderness and love.

His smile is so full of love when our eyes meet that it pushes the tears back into my eyes, but these are different, these are the tears of happiness.

 

He stares into my eyes, opening himself for me. I can see the walls that kept him from admitting his feelings for me crumble. He dips his head and kisses me with so much love and passion. I need him, need to feel him inside me. I start to wriggle under him, trying to take of my clothes. I can feel the moment he realizes what I’m doing because he sits up on his calves and just rips my pants off of me. I shred my shirt, eager to feel his skin on mine. I spread my arms in welcoming embrace, but  instead of accepting it, he flips me around. I am on my knees, braced on the last step with my naked ass right in front of him.

I can feel him cover my back, his warm chest chasing away the remaining chill of his absence.

He nips at the back of my neck and starts trailing sucking kisses down my back. He pushes my head down to the plush carpet covering the stairs and I do not have the courage to move. I am completely at his mercy.

He licks down my spine, vertebra after vertebra, I feel his lengthened claws digging into the skin of my hips. Once he gets to the top of my ass, he slides his arms under my thighs and pulls me up a little bit until my knees no longer touch the stairs and plunges his mouth straight into my hole.

No one dared before, I would not allow it. But Niklaus is not just someone, he is my one true love and I would let him do anything. It is the strangest feeling, feeling so helpless. I can not move, I can not push him away, he is stronger than me and he is practically holding my bottom half in the air. And even if I could, I don’t want to fight.

The feeling of his tongue plunging deep and laving my insides is like nothing I have felt before. I can feel my hole tingle and give up, slowly relaxing and opening around his tongue.

I’m so focused on the feeling, that I do not even realize how close to the edge I am until I’m spilling onto the carpet beneath me. He swipes the come into his hand and shoves the coated fingers into my opening, he lubes me up with my own cum.

He tortures me with his fingers now, spreading and scissoring them until I have a feeling like his  fist is showed up my ass.

I feel him crawling up my back, kissing and biting until he is completely covering me once again. He braces his arms next to my face and sharply nips my neck. I moan and try to push my arms beneath me so I can brace myself against his thrusts. He has different idea, he grabs my arms and twists them, so my forearms are lying against the small of my back. He grabs my forearms, completely taking away any leverage and buries himself into me to the hilt.

It is the most forceful and savage fuck of my life. I feel like a ragdoll shoved there and back completely at his mercy. He is hammering me so deep I can feel his cock in my throat.

He is picking up speed and if he did not hold me back, my head would be certainly hitting the stairs in front of me. He pulls me up for the last few thrusts, leaning me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. My head is lifelessly laying on his shoulder when he comes for the last time. But instead of pulling away and letting me go, he starts to grind his hips into my ass, I can feel something pushing at my entrance, something big. Is it possible that he has… is it a knot? I can feel the pressure building until it slips inside. A knot! Wow, I did not know werewolves have them, that Niklaus has one.

I want to ask about it, about why he did not use it before, but I am too fucked out to even move. Instead I let him manhandle me down the stairs a little bit, so we’re both lying on even ground. He pulls me against him and shoves his arm under my head.

“Rest beloved, I’ll be here when you wake up.” I close my eyes, reassured by his words and give myself to Morpheus.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not remember much of the hunt. I gave control to my wolf when we got back to the Richmond park and met the Alpha.

I did not know how to react in the presence of the big black wolf so he took over.

I mostly remember feelings. Happiness at meeting the other wolves, at being able to run free, excitement when we took down a big stag…

I let my wolf to have his fun and went to sleep, mentally exhausted from the events in the cave.

 

I feel a nudge in my sleep, my wolf is trying to wake me up. Did something bad happened with the pack? I jump up, internally chastising myself for not staying awake.

He nudges at my arm, I look down at him and suddenly we are one being, one mind.

Wow.

I look around myself when I realize three things:

One - I am back at the Mansion. How did we get back? Even if he was able to track my scent back to the house, how did he get inside?

Two - I am still in the wolf form, but I am able to move it like it is my own body.

Third - Elijah is here with us, looking slightly disgruntled, clearly not knowing that the wolf and I are one.

I can not help but tease him a little. My brother, the strong warrior fearing a little wolf? I jump at him and start to lick him everywhere I can. I pay special attention to his hair, trying to make them stand in a funny way.

It is all fun and games until he recognizes me and starts to cry. I don’t understand what happened! I can not discern any words between the sobs and hiccups so I try to pull off of him to see if he is hurt or just to look into his eyes, but he does not allow it.

He squeezes me even tighter and his murmuring reaches new, almost frantic level.

I look helplessly at my wolf, I need to return to my human form but don’t know how. Slowly he helps me to calm my heartbeat, something that is very difficult with sobbing, possibly hurt Elijah in my arms. He guides me through the transformation and I am soon able to hug my brother. I also stop to pull away and hug him closer instead, that seems to work and I am finally able to recognize what he is saying.

It seems that once again I am the villain in my brother’s story, I am the one who drove him to this state. He thought I left him, that I’ve got so mad that I would leave him without a word.

My foolish love, as if I could exist in this world without him.

I start to rock him, to talk to him. It is a very slow process, but I won’t be defeated. I do not even notice what am I saying, I realize too late what I’ve said.

Those three awful words I’ve kept for myself for so long.

I notice only after he stops and pushes me slightly away to look into my eyes.

My first though is to take it back. To hide my love because I know that once I said it, confirmed it there will be no way back. I will be his forever and once he finds out who I really am he will hate me, will be disgusted by my depravity. But I can’t take them back, the wolf won’t let me. It gives me courage, by reminding me what happens when you try to hide the things that matter.

So I look into his eyes and try to show him that I’ve meant it, that I truly love him and would do anything to make him happy.

The expression on his face is so full of hope and love. He looks like a proper mess, face blotchy and full of crusted tear tracks, hair standing in every direction but to me he is the most perfect being in the universe and not only for me, because my wolf feels the same. He can feel what I feel and he heard all I’ve said about him today and decided that Elijah is his, ours.

He pushes me to claim him before anyone else does, so I bend down and press a gentle kiss on Elijah’s reddened lips. But neither Elijah, nor the wolf will allow me to take it slowly.

For next few hours there is only very thin line between the wolf and I and my poor Elijah is caught in the middle of it.

 

Even though my legs feel like they’re made of jello and I seriously need to drink something, I use my last strength to bring him to our bed. I blindly reach into the mini fridge next to the bed and pull two blood bags. I force him to drink one even though I think it is just instinct on his part and he is already asleep. I drown the other one and lie down, pulling him into my arms. I know there is something I should think of other than sleep, but I just can not remember what.

Hmm, probably wasn’t that important anyway.

 

I wake up the day later to hear raised voices from the foyer.

I run down and find my brother facing off at least ten wolves. I jump between them, standing in front of him ready for a fight. It is only then I realize who these wolves are. They are part of the pack that let me hunt with them the previous night. 

“How can I help you gentleman?”

One of the elder men stepped out, my wolf recognized him as the big black wolf - the alfa.

“We came to speak with you, tell him to leave us alone!” he points his chin at Elijah. The command in his tone was unmistakable and I could feel my hackles rising. I am Klaus Mikaelson and I bow to no one, alpha or not!

“You dare to come to my home, his home and command me?! Do you know who are you speaking to?” He scoffs at that, clearly unimpressed.

“Oh I know who you are! An insolent boy that did not learn his place yet! Puppy that does not listed to your alpha and prefers the company of undead murderous psychopath rather than his own kind!”

I can hear Elijah’s growl at that insult and I feel like growling myself. No one calls me boy, no one! That’s how Mikael use to call me, when he wanted to humiliate me, to show me my place.

Hearing it makes me want to go on a murderous spree….

 

But part of me is unwilling to engage in a fight, it is the wolf… he needs, craves a pack and is purposely trying to calm my rage. It projects the feelings from the hunt - the joy at running with the pack, the sense of belonging...

“You did me a favor by allowing me to join your pack for the hunt, let me repay your the courtesy by not killing you on the spot and giving you two options.

You can leave right now and there will be no further interaction between us.” I can feel the wolf whining, but I’m ignoring him. They allowed me to join them on the hunt for a reason, they came to the lions den (it is clear from their reaction that they were aware of at least one of Elijah’s ‘episodes’) for a reason and I know they won’t leave.

“Or you can stay and I will listen to your request with open mind, but Elijah stays. Where I go, he goes.”

I can say the Alpha does not like the ultimatum, but I know he will accept, if he is so desperate as to come here and ask for help, he can push his pride little bit more.

I can see the moment he calms down, his shoulders relax and the other wolves straighten up from their crouched fighting stance.

“We need your help” I’ve gathered that much, I think sarcastically. I’m getting little impatient here.

“We have a pack member, a small child that is stuck in the wolf form, we hoped you might be able to help him.” Now I’m confused, how could they possibly think that I could help? They are pack and obviously not a new one, does none of them know how to help the child? I look at Elijah and I can see the same confusion on Elijah’s face. It is he who voices our question: 

“Why Niklaus? He is a stranger you’ve never seen before. How can you trust him with wellbeing of one of your children?”

“Trust me if I had any other option I would no go to you, but the boy is just a newborn baby whose mother died during the birth and since then he refuses to eat and fears anyone who comes near him. He is so small, he can not fight against us, but we can all sense his fear when anyone is near him. He pukes out all the milk we manage to put into him. We hope by turning him human he would stomach the food better….” he trails away. It is clear how upset he and the wolves are. It’s understandable, no one likes to see children suffer, but I still can’t comprehend why they think I would be of any help here.

“I am desperate, please I’m begging you come with us. I will even allow the undead to come, but please do not let him suffer any more.”

“But why me? What is so different about me that you think I might help?”

“It is your smell, we can smell that you are and are not a wolf at the same time, even though I don’t know what you are. You have the same smell as the baby.”

Hmmm, interesting. So the child is a hybrid.

“Niklaus, some of the hybrids you created are alive? Do you think that one of them is a parent of this child?”

“It had to be the father. Abby, the mother, was a wolf not some hybrid” one of the wolf interrupts us.

Elijah nods, but quickly turns back to me “You need to help the child. It is probably scared. It has no mother and his instincts are telling him that there is no one like him there.” I can see the look in his eyes, it is the same look he had when he found out about Hayley being pregnant with Hope. He will do anything to help this child. He does not even give me a chance to assent, just turns back to the Alpha “We’re coming with you.”

The wolves are little bit surprised by him taking the lead, but I can smell their relief. They herd us out of the building as quickly as they can.


	11. Chapter 11

The wolf puppy is so small. It is lying in a cot, weakly squirming and whining. Even the whining is weak, it seems like he is using the last ounces of his strength.

It’s is just the two of us and the Alpha. He sent the other wolves away and ordered them to prepare warm milk in case their plan will work.

The Alpha remains in the doorway and pushes Niklaus in. “It stresses him when he senses me, I do not want to add to his distress” he looks at me “You have his smell all over you” he clearly refers to my lover “if the boy will accept him, he should probably accept you too.”

I nod and follow Niklaus inside the room. He is approaching the cot very slowly, afraid that his movements will scare the pup.

As he nears closer the whining intensifies, but the shrill changes. I think it is more excited than scared right now. Niklaus is standing above the cot and turns back to me, I can see he is unsure of what to do next, so I come near and put my hand on his shoulder offering support the best I can. He reaches into the cot and pulls him out. He is so small and fragile looking in his arms. I spot a chair in the corner and bring it closer so he can sit down and lean the puppy against his chest.

There is something so right about the picture, it is like a deja vu, like I’ve seen, lived this moment before. I sometimes have these almost flashbacks when around Niklaus, he does something, just a small gesture and I could almost swear I saw him do it million times.

He is snuggling the puppy closer to himself, gently rubbing his lips on his head and murmuring calming words. I’m transfixed by the picture they’re presenting and despite that I miss the change. One second there is a puppy in his hands, the next one it is a human baby with blond, almost white hair.

Gasps sound through the room and when I turn around I can see what seems like the whole pack squeezed in the doorway. The alpha is up in the front, he notices me watching him and holds out a bottle of milk.

I bring it to Niklaus and he offers the nipple to the child, who starts to suck eagerly. The Alpha apparently decided that now it would be safe to get closer and slowly walks towards the two of them. He manages only two or three steps before the child freezes and stops sucking. As he gets closer the boy starts whining and his baby nails start to lengthen and turn into baby claws, I immediately place myself between the Alpha and the pair. “I will not allow you to get closer” I warn him “Your presence puts the boy into distress.” But the man does not want to see reason.

“Step back you undead monster, that kid belongs to my pack!” he tries to sidestep me, the fool. The fact the pack is watching me barely registers when I grab him by the neck and pick him up. I am very calm, deadly calm when I threaten him “Listen to me carefully, I hate to repeat myself, wolf. I don’t care..”

“Elijah, please” Niklaus interrupts me. I turn around, the Alpha still dangling from my hand, helplessly clutching at my fingers slowly but surely cutting of his access to air.

Niklaus is standing by the far wall, the child in one arm while the other covers the baby’s head. “Alpha. This child sees you as an enemy, he does not accept you as his alpha. You are a different species to him and your presence is causing him distress, so please leave us. I will feed him and put him to sleep and we can talk after.” then he turns to me “Elijah, love, I know you’re just trying to protect us” I’m happy to notice how pleased he is about it” but please, not in front of the little one.” He is right of course, a child should not be exposed to such violence. I bow my head a little in apology and let go of the Alpha, herding him towards the doors and once he is out, I close the doors in his face with the coldest glare I can muster.

I turn back and see Niklaus got back to feeding the little one, I’m hesitant to get near I don’t was to distress the child again as he seems to be almost asleep now. Niklaus of course notices my distance “Don’t worry Elijah, come near he won’t get scared. You smell like me and a vampire, he won’t register you as a threat.” I can not resist, I come closer. The child is so small, fragile and beautiful and I can suddenly see myself having this, having them. Niklaus and the child, our child.

There is a deeply rooted instinct to procreate in every living being, I am no different, even if it is not possible. This instinct lays dormant, waiting for the right time to stick its ugly little head out. And once it is out, it is very hard to ignore. I can not explain it, I have never thought of a child of my own before but now I can feel the roots of the idea burrowing into my brain, into my every waking thought. I can not resist, I come closer and sit on the armrest, wrapping my arm around Niklaus’ shoulders.

The child is looking at me, I know that newborns can’t see that far but maybe because he is a hybrid he is different. He has blond hair, just like my Niklaus, if we raised him as our own no one would doubt that he is his true father. “Do you ever think of having children my love?” Something of my longing must show up in my face because he knows instantly where I’m going. “Oh no Elijah, we can not keep the baby. We can not take him from his family.”

“What family? You heard it yourself, his mother is dead and they did not know the father, otherwise they would know what a hybrid is.” I can feel his agitation, he stands up from the chair and gently lays the baby into its cot. Once his hands are free, he turns sharply around.

“No Elijah, I won’t take him. This is his pack, he should stay with them!”

“Why? He does not want them, he is afraid of them.”

“No, he just needs some time, someone to show him they are no threat. I can do that, but I can not raise him!”

There is something different in it. He fights too much against the mere idea of a baby and the pack is not the reason. I come closer to him and take his face in my palms:

“Talk to me Niklaus, tell me what worries you so.”

He is avoiding my eyes and trying to get from my hold but I do not let him, instead I turn him around so he is facing the cot with the sleeping infant it in and press myself against his back. “Tell me my love. What are you afraid of?”

He is quiet for a moment and I almost think he won’t open up, but finally he speaks:

“I have two children.” What? Why didn’t he say something sooner? I want to ask, but do not dare to interrupt him in fear he won’t talk again. “My first child was a boy, two hundred years ago. He was twelve when I met him, a slave, but you could see how brave he is, how unbroken by his burden. He was the son of the man who owned him, but it was a cruel man, who did not care. I killed him, killed his father and saved Marcellus.” He goes silent again, I can see the pain in the way how he holds himself, lost in the memories. Whatever happened with this boy it was nothing good. “Where is he now?” “I do not know, last I’ve heard he was in New York, but he could be in the next town over and he still would not want to see me. He hates me, hates me even more than his biological father now.” “But why?” He stays silent, the only sign of his emotions is the slight trembling of his body. I can see he won’t talk about the boy, but he mentioned two children.

“What about your second child?” A wistful smile appears on his face. “A girl, Hope, she is now…….. Eleven? She is all that is good and pure in this world. The most beautiful baby girl you’ve ever seen” silent tears start streaming down his face. “My Hope was lucky, she never had me as a father, not really. Everytime I had her even for a little while, she was in danger. Witches tried to sacrifice her when she was in belly, when she was born we had to pretend she died and sent her to live elsewhere to protect her. When she returned to us she was always in danger, whether it was from wolves, vampires or humans. Then someone imprisoned me and I did not see her for five years. And when… when I’ve got out” he tries to compose himself, hide his tears. I turn him around and hug him close, hiding his head in the crook of my neck. “Shhh, my love. It is going to be alright.”

“NO!” he shoves me away and I fly through the whole room, landing on the ground. “No you can’t say that! Nothing is going to be alright! I had her! For 2 days Elijah! I thought I have her and everything is going to be alright and then some bloody fucking darkness from thousand years ago came and tried to kill her! Try to fucking sacrifice her. Now I can not go near her otherwise the darkness will come back!

You see? It is Fate, I will never know the joy of raising a child,  of having the love of a family. Some of us are too broken for that.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Tell me my love. What are you afraid of?”

I almost laugh, that question is so easy and hard at the same time. Easy because it is clear what I’m afraid of, being shitty father, being the father Marcel hates, being like Mikael. Hard because how can I explain it to him? How can I convince him that I am in no way fit to be a parent?

“I have two children.” I can see the surprise of his face. I never talk about mine, our past, too afraid the compulsion will fall. “My first child was a boy, two hundred years ago. He was twelve when I met him, a slave, but you could see how brave he is, how unbroken by his burden. He was the son of the man who owned him, but it was a cruel man who did not care. I killed him, killed his father and saved Marcellus.” Oh my beautiful, brave Marcellus. You I disappointed the most, I teased you with the idea of our perfect family only to leave you behind when Mikael came for us. I left you….., I left you and I won’t forgive myself for that.

“Where is he now?” “I do not know, last I’ve heard he was in New York, but he could be in the next town over and he still would not want to see me. He hates me, hates me even more than his biological father now.” “But why?”

The night is dark and we’re standing on the bridge. I can see in his eyes that he wants to believe me, that despite all of my betrayals he is forgiving and trusting me once again when a bloody arm of my brother rips through his chest, still beating heart squeezed in his hand. The look in his eyes will follow me in nightmares forever. I deserved those five years in darkness, that’s where monsters belong after all, away from the living, away from the light...from Hope….

“What about your second child?” I can not help but smile, my little princess. “A girl, Hope, she is now…….. Eleven? She is all that is good and pure in this world. The most beautiful baby girl you’ve ever seen….” I tell him the story of Hope, how since she was in Hayley’s belly she was in constant danger because of who I am, how witches, vampires and werewolves all tried to kill her.

My head is full of pictures from the past - Bekah screaming that she hates me, Kol lying lifeless on the sofa in Marcel’s penthouse, the sound of my heart breaking when Marcellus said he is glad not to be a Mikaelson, Hope freezing and half dead when the Hollow tried to take her life force and Elijah… The unending hurt I saw in his face when I told him I buried our siblings in the Ocean, never to be found again. The hatred that followed.

I have no more strength, the last words are barely a whisper:

“You see? It is Fate, I will never know the joy of raising a child, of having the love of a family. Some of us are too broken for that.”

I do not wait for his reply, I don’t want comfort from the man who is and isn’t my brother for such a long time, I leave him there. Ignoring his calls.

 

I walk down the stairs lost in my own head. Memories of my past regrets flooding my mind, when the Alpha steps in front of me. He knows how to pick the best time “Where is the child? You did not leave it with the monster did you?” How dare he? I don’t understand his prejudice towards my brother. He so readily accepted me, but can not get over the fact that Elijah is a vampire? It grates on my already frazzled nerves. I lash out and grab him by the neck “Elijah is with him indeed. And let me warn you one last time, call him monster once again and I will rip out your throat before any of your wolves even moves and throw your body into Thames.” with that I shove him away from me and get out of the house.

The memories of my children and family continue to haunt me. I wander the streets of London without purpose, just walking and walking until the early hours of the morning. Even then I do not go home, I can not return, just the thought of seeing Elijah disappointed with me again makes me wanna run.  I opt instead for sitting in a café, observing the crowds. My breath catches every time I see a familiar feature. That girl has the same hair as Hayley, that one’s laugh sounds like Kol…

It is my own personal brand of torture.

 

It took hours, but I finally mustered the courage and I’m on my way home. I’m still few blocks away when I first hear it, a lullaby, the lullaby, the one Mother used to sing to us and I used to sing to Hope, hummed in Elijah’s voice.

No! He did not do it!

I speed up, moving so fast I’m invisible to human eye. He must have heard me because he awaits me in the foyer, the baby in his arms happily sucking on a pacifier. The boy reaches out to me the second I walk in, but I stay strong. I must stay strong! The baby is much better without me.

“Explain yourself Elijah!”

I can see him stiffen and then and there I know, that nothing I’ll say will convince him to give up the child. My brother is the most stubborn man in the world, nothing can change his mind when he gets like this. It doesn’t mean I’ll not try, the happiness and safety of the child depends on me!

“Good afternoon beloved. What took you so long?”

Oh no, I won’t let him distract me. “Stop Elijah! I won’t let myself be distracted by your games. What is the child doing here?”

He looks down at the baby and smiles. “Allow me to introduce you Henri, my son”

“Your son?!”

“Yes, my son. I named him Henri, do you like the name? It is one of the traditional British royal names, but with i at the end to add a little bit of flare.” He is doing it on purpose, he is talking about the silly name so he can distract me from my anger. And to hell with it because it works! I feel the original anger dissipating and slowly giving the way to defeated acceptance.

“Elijah please, please don’t do this to me. I can not live through it again. I can not lose another child, another member of my family. We need to return him to his Alpha, he will take care of him.”

“Unfortunately the Alpha can not take care of him. He suffered an accident I’m afraid. One he did not survive.” The way he says it, the stance he takes, it is so much like the old Elijah. The hard control he had over himself returning, the only thing missing is the ten thousand dollar suit. I don’t have to ask how or who killed the Alpha, I know it was him. “The Alpha was a threat, one I was not willing to ignore. Now stop being stubborn and take the baby, I know you like the palm of my hand, I can see how much you want him. Do not let your fear control you Niklaus.”


	13. Chapter 13

I made up my mind. I can see Niklaus’ struggle, the way he keeps fighting what he really wants and I won’t allow it anymore. I won’t tolerate his suffering. So I force him to take the baby. I know he needs me to take control, it happened million times before mostly in bed. He would tease me for days, only to avoid my touch ashamed to admit he wants to be dominated, that he wants to give up the control. He needs me to be forceful, to make him surrender.

So I do just that, remove the Alpha, agree with the pack on a meeting and bring the boy home.

My head is already spinning with ideas how to rebuild the adjoining room to our bedroom into nursery, with the things I will teach the boy. But first things first, I need to pick up a name, I asked the wolves what they call him, but those animals did not even name him! They said that they did not want to get attached to him because he was to die soon. Imbeciles!

I know my son is destined for greatness so his name must befit a king. I wanted to name him Alexander after Alexander the Great, but I changed my mind. I spent hours watching him sleep and going through a catalogue of names in my head when I came up with Henri and that fit like a glove. Yes, the boy looks like a Henri, I smile.

I feed him again when he wakes up, but the boy is restless. He squirms and wriggles, I think he is missing Niklaus. Well, he is not the only one. I take him off the bed and show him the house, walking from room to room just trying to take our minds off of the missing member of our little makeshift family. We’re walking from a room to room when I start to hum, I don’t even recognize the melody, it is coming from the darkest recesses of my mind, from places I didn’t even know exist anymore. There is something ancient and dark about it, but Henri apparently loves it, he stops squirming in my arms, staring at me transfixed instead.

It is no long after that, when Niklaus gets finally home.

I can see the anguish in his eyes when I tell him I’m keeping Henri no matter what. I can see the defeat and reluctant acceptance in his eyes too, so I go for the final push:

“Now stop being stubborn and take the baby, I know you like the palm of my hand, I can see how much you want him. Do not let your fear control you Niklaus.”

I don’t know what did it, if it was my words or the little giggle from Henri when I basically shoved him into Niklaus’ hands but the tension so strong when he came home, diminishes. He snuggles the boy closer and kisses the top of his head. I can not resist, I take them both into my arms and hug them close. Protectiveness surges in me and I swear that I will destroy anything and anyone who would want to take them from me. I would steal, cheat, compel and murder just to keep them safe and happy. My family…

“Come my love, you look exhausted. Let me put you and Henri to bed.”

“Henri is a stupid name.” he murmurs fondly, no real bite behind the words.

“And what would you name him? Joseph? Daniel? Henri is a good name.” I say decisively. “I promise if we have more, you can name the next one.”

  
  
  


_************************************_

_5 years later_

 

I’m in the music room with Henri, I just recently started to teach him how to play piano, but I already know how talented he is. Even though Niklaus disagree. (“For god’s sake Elijah! You’re teaching the child every day for 3 months and he only knows one song, if I have to hear the bloody Twinkle, twinkle one more time, I’ll smash the piano to pieces!”) My beloved is a wonderful painter, but he does not know anything about the musical arts. Either way we just started to learn a new song just to appease him. It is the Itsy bitsy spider one and Henri wants to play it on Daddy’s birthday in a month. He is sitting on my knees and I’m showing him which keys to press for the first part of the song when we’re interrupted by a knock.

“Come in.”

It’s David, one of the werewolves in our, I mean my Niklaus’ pack. After I killed the Alpha and some of his most loyal, the pack was lost. None of them were leaders and wolves can not survive long without a proper pack hierarchy. They’ve got almost killed when another pack wanted to overtake their territory and they would die, if Niklaus and I would not step in. They begged him to become their Alpha afterwards.

“Hey! Where is your mate?” For Goodness' sake! How long is he going to tease us? It’s getting ridiculous. After Niklaus’ first hunt with the pack he fucked me straight in the foyer and oh how I hate that word now, knotted me. For some reason, I blame modern movies and literature, we both assumed this meant we’re mates, like soulmates. Imagine our surprise when we had a little drunk night out with the boys from the pack and they constantly talked about this girl Amanda. Amanda  apparently loves the knot and had her share of them. They were betting on how many knots she had taken and while I was wondering how they want to get the real number, slightly drunk Niklaus interrupted: “You mean you do not have to be mates for the knot to develop?” he looked at them with the most adorable shocked expression while clutching my knee. So of course they made fun of us and started to referring to us as mates.

For four bloody years!

How should we know that the knot is just a sign that the wolf is close to the surface just like the eyes? I sigh quite loudly to show my displeasure, but I’m not getting into that discussion again.

“He left the house, what do you need from him?” “He forgot his phone downstairs and it keeps ringing and ringing. It might be important.” he hands me the phone. It starts to buzz again, the caller ID simply says F, so I pick it up:

“Hello, who is there?”

“Nik! So good… wait, you’re...Elijah?” it is a female voice, completely unknown to me. How does she know my name? “Who is this? What do you want from Niklaus?”

“Ehmm, this is Freya… Is Nik there?” “No, he forgot his phone at home. How do you know my name? Who are you to him?” I ask sharply.  “Oh, his ugh friend … please tell me to call back as soon as he can. Thanks!” She hangs up and does not pick up when I call back.

This is really suspicious, who is she? Niklaus would have not cheated on me, that I am sure of, but he is not above keeping secrets from me. He’s got better, more open, but sometimes the old insecurities pop their head out and he starts to keep secrets. But it is nothing a good fuck can’t fix. I do not even realize that I stood up and am pacing the room until a child’s voice interrupts me: “Papa? Who was it? Why are you angry?”

God! I completely forgot that Henri is still in the room. He was quiet as a mouse, obviously listening to the phone conversation and my muttering afterwards. I’m not sure what to answer him, yes I am angry, but there is no particular reason why should I be. I am not some controlling freak that needs to know about every step, every acquaintance of his partner. I am not!

I pick him up, placing him on my hip and planting a small kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’m not angry angel. Just frustrated, because our lesson got interrupted and the lady on the phone was quite rude. She did not want to introduce herself and that was impolite.” he nods, with all the seriousness of a five year old and then grins: “Can I go play now?” “Sure.” I put him back down and watch him leave the music room.

 

I’m ashamed to admit, that I end up in Niklaus’ study/office with a bottle of whisky and pretend not to go through the drawers. There is no mention of Freya anywhere, actually there is nothing even mildly interesting here.

I hear several cars returning, it seems my dearest is back. I am not the only one who noticed his arrival however, the door to Henri’s room barge open and I can hear him running down the stairs and yelling from the top of his lungs.

“Daddy, daddy run! Papa is mad at you, because some rude lady called!”

I could facepalm in that moment, my perfect son just told everybody that I am mad and jealous. I hear few snickers from the wolves, but Niklaus remains serious. He is the last one that could judge me for little bit of jealousy. I can not count how many times he threw a tantrum just because someone hit on me. But I got it, I am the same with him. No one gets to touch him like I do, that man is mine and I would kill anyone who’d try to take him from me.

So yes, maybe I am little bit jealous about this mysterious Freya.

He explains to Henri that a true warrior does not run from a fight and he is one, so he is going to talk to me. I’m pleased that he is not trying to avoid it.

He finds me sitting behind the desk, pretending to read a book. His smile shows that I’m not fooling him one bit. He comes to me, pulls the chair further from the desk and plants himself into my lap and gives me a thorough hello kiss.

“So little bird told me some rude lady called” he starts, a teasing twinkle in his eye. I can not help to roll my eyes at that. “Yes, indeed. She was quite impolite, very reluctant to share her name, despite knowing mine. She told me her name is Freya?”

I can see the change in his demeanor, teasing laughter is replaced by anger and fear. He jumps out of my lap, rounding the table and looking at me with dread. “What did she say?” I did not expect this kind of reaction. What just happened? The jealousy, appeased by his presence rears its ugly head again. “Who is she? Who is she to you?” I can feel myself getting colder, dread settling in my stomach, but his answer is unexpected. “My sister, she… she is with Hope.” Hope? His daughter? He rarely speaks about her and when he does, it is rarely more than just a comment here and there, something almost unintentional.

“I’m sorry darling, I need to call her, I need to know…” he looks terrified, I nod and hand him the phone as quickly as I can, but I’m surprised and little bit hurt when he does not call right away, instead opting for going into our room, which he knows is soundproof.


	14. Chapter 14

My heart was beating in my throat when I dialed Freya’s number, memories of Hope’s cold and lifeless body flashing in front of my eyes. But luckily Hope was alright, at least.

I did not believe that I will ever hear the news she had for me. They were simultaneously the best and worst I heard in my life.

“Nik! I found it! I found a way how to get rid of the Hollow!”

I freeze, my body just shuts down and I do not even realize that the cell phone fell out of my fingers. My mind is buzzing, panicked thoughts flying around, what should I do? What should I do? All I can think of is Elijah finding out and all the times I betrayed him, all the times he forgave me. The times we made love, we confessed our love to each other running in front of my eyes. How could he forgive my deception? Impossible.

My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of the phone, but it still takes me a minute to gather my wits and pick it up from the floor. How did it get there?

“Nik! What happened?” That’s Rebekah, not Freya. I look at the phone, but the caller ID still shows Freya, they must be together then. Little sis had to get impatient when I did not respond and ripped out the phone from Freya’s hand. Some things never change, I think with a great deal of fondness. “Rebekah” I sigh “how are you? Are you happy or do I need to kill someone?” She giggles. I did not hear her laugh for such a long time, I missed it. It always reminded me of when we were just kids, running through the woods all day.

“No need to kill anyone dear brother. The only thing making me sad is that you are not here with me, so pack your bag and get your butt to New Orleans. Oh and do not forget Elijah.” Her voice is teasing, but also little put out. I know she is mad that I am with Elijah when we promised to stay from each other. She is excited with the prospect of getting rid of the Hollow and therefore in a good mood, but I do not doubt that the moment the Hollow is vanquished, she won’t hold her displeasure back.

I do not react to her teasing, simply asking her to give the phone back to Freya, I need to know more about this mysterious way how to get rid of that dead witch.

Freya explains “I found the details of the ritual they performed when her mother was pregnant, you remember that they infused the fetus with magic of four strong witches, that is why those four pieces of her remain even after she was killed. Each piece is infused with strong magic, but as any magical object can be drained of that power. We just needed four extraordinarily strong witches to take that power and the correct spell. Me, Vincent, Davina and Hope will take it and we managed to get the details of the spell they used, we can reverse it. All we need to do is to get us all to one place and where better than our home?”

“Are you sure it will work? What if it won’t? What if all of us together will allow her to raise again?”

“Come on Nik!” she sounds exasperated “you know there is always that risk, but wouldn’t it be worth it?” Worth it? Worth giving up my life with Elijah, giving up being truly happy for once in my life? But Freya senses my insecurity and uses the one argument I cannot ignore “Think of Hope…”

Hope… my perfect daughter I did not see for more than five years? How could I put my own happiness above her safety? I can't, I would be the same as my Mother when she cheated on Mikael and then let him raise me. There is no arguing with that. “Okay, I will be there as soon as possible and I’ll…. I’ll bring Elijah too” even if it will be the end of us. Suddenly a thought comes. “Is there Marcellus with you?” “Yes, he is here with Becks and Haley”

“Okay, put me on speakerphone then.”

I wait a minute while she does as asked and then continue “Marcellus?” I ask tentatively, I have no idea if those five years diminished his anger, I just hope he will listen.

“Yes Klaus. I’m listening.”

“It is about Elijah, what if you did not cancel the compulsion only after we perform the ritual?”

“Why would I do that?”

“It would be not fair to him to cancel it only for the ritual to fail. I can convince him to participate, but… he, he has a life here, something good. I don’t want him to lose it if the ritual won’t work.”

“He has a good life there?” that’s Haley “did he found… did he found a girl there? What is he doing? Tell me! We did not hear from you for five years and now you’re suddenly together? I could’ve been with him! Why are **you** allowed when I'm not?!”

“Calm down Haley, we will explain all in person, okay?”

“So he did, didn’t he. Some bitch!”

I don’t know if I should cry or laugh. No, he did not find himself a woman, something worse, me. But I could not say that, if it would be up to me they would never know what happened between us, I don’t want them to judge him, he is not at fault, it’s me, it is always me, freak, monster, always the odd one out. A sharp pain at my temple brings me out of my mind, I’m pulling my hair again. Elijah and Bekah often joked around that I will go bald from stress one day.

I can hear them on the other other side, arguing and trying to calm down Haley. So I quickly say: “No, there is no girl. I must go now, see you.” and hung up. I know it was cowardly, but this might well be my last day with him and I still have to convince him to come with me to New Orleans.

 

I return back to my office, only to find it empty. I follow his voice to Henri’s room. They’re both sitting at the ground completely surrounded by Lego cubes. I snap a picture, soon I will lose this, my love, my son, my home and this picture will be the only thing left. I know that after this is over he will be the one raising the boy, he is much better parent than me anyway, Henri will be better off with him.

The shutter of the camera makes them look up, even though I’m sure Elijah knew I was there. Why was he pretending I was not? “Daddy! Come play with us! We’re building towers, help me defeat Papa!” I smile fondly, longingly at the boy and go sit with them. Henri immediately sits on my crossed legs and snuggles in. “Tell me angel, what kind of tower will we build?” I ask, avoiding Elijah’s questioning look. “Hmmm” he thinks, putting his forefinger to his chin in a gesture that is so Elijah I need to laugh. “Let’s build Eiffel tower!”

We spend all afternoon together, building towers, playing with cars and drawing. The tension between me and Elijah growing by a minute, but we both do our best so Henri won’t notice.

After we clean up the room, have a dinner and a bath for Henri, it’s time to go to bed.

“Daddy will you read me? Will you do the voices?”

“Of course my little price, which book do you want?”

“Princess and Frog, duh!” He rolls his eyes at my question.

How ironic, from all the fairytales of the world, both old and new ones, he loves this one the most. The one about dreams coming true in New Orleans. I can’t count how many times I've read the book or watched the movie with him. I know every word and every song, so I sit down and read it the best I can, read it to him for the last time.


	15. Chapter 15

He was distracted, distracted and sad. Whatever the sister told him, it wasn’t good news and it makes me nervous. It almost made me jump up with impatience several times today, only Henri keeping me in check, I did not want to scare my son or make him see his parents fight.

Niklaus is putting him to bed, while I showered and sit in our bed, but I’ve put pyjama pants on. I am in no mood to continue this charade, Niklaus will speak to me, whether he likes it or not.

“Sit down Niklaus” I command the moment he walks in and closes the door. Now we are in private, no one can listen in, even those with supernatural hearing. We made this room soundproof, actually most of the bedrooms and bathrooms are soundproof. Everyone deserves their privacy in certain things…

He looks longingly towards the shower, but I know he does it only to stall. I can see how nervous he is, hair on his right temple standing up from his nervous tic of pulling them.

He sits down at the far end of the bed, but I had enough of his dramatics. I stand up and walk to him, pull him up and undress him. There are no word, no protests from his side, he just lets me manhandle him, so I climb back on the bed, lean against the headboard and make him sit in front of me, his back leaning against my naked chest.

I comb my fingers through the hair he abused so much, feeling him relax a little bit. I plant a small kiss on the side of his neck and plead: “Tell me Niklaus, what worries you so? You can trust me….” That was apparently wrong words because he tenses again, damn him and his trust issues. I forcibly pull him back and do not relent. He sighs, but answers:

“I will tell you everything, but please do not interrupt me. Let me tell you the whole thing before you start asking any questions.” I consent, what other choice do I have?

“My sister Freya found a way how to get rid of the witch threatening Hope. She is a witch too and found a way how to drain her power. She needs me and my siblings and… and another strong vampire to channel the spell and four witches that will absorb the power. She asked me to come back to New Orleans to perform the ritual. I need to leave tomorrow. I… We do not know for sure whether it will work but it’s our best shot. If it wont… it, the Hollow might come back and everything we suffered for the last six years will be for nought.”

This is it? Is he simply afraid that the ritual won’t work? I have a feeling like there is something else, but he asked me to let him speak, so I do not ask.

“I wanted to ask, are you willing to go with me? Will you consent to be part of that ritual?”

“Of course I will beloved, how could you thing I would refuse?” Honestly I am honored, he wants me to help him save his family? To provide the chance that they might be together again? He did not speak of them much, but I know him, I know how much he misses them. He turns around, looking into my eyes. 

“Elijah, I did not tell them about us” he hangs his head “could we maybe pretend to be just friends?” Friends!? He doesn’t want to tell them about me? I thought he considers our relationship permanent, at least I do. I already consider him my husband. He must see the hurt and burning anger in my eyes and quickly adds: “I did not mean forever, just after the ritual. I just don’t want them to be distracted. To make a mistake” I look at him suspiciously, but he seems sincere and what he is saying make sense, I can survive pretending he is not the love of my life for few hours. I nod, but his eyes are still so worried and still so so sad. I catch his face into my hands and ask gently: “What is it love? Tell me, tell me what can I do more?”

There are tears in his eyes when he whispers: “Make love to me Elijah, make love to me like it is the last time. I don’t know what will happen, I just… need you, inside.”

There isn’t much to say to that, I lean in closer and kiss him. The kiss starts tender, I can sense his desperation, his need, but I make it purposely slow. I let my hands slowly roam his body, inscribing the swells and dips deep into my mind. His hands are little bit rough on my skin, grabbing and caressing, all his movements are filled with the same despair I feel in our kiss. I am gentle, no matter how many times he tried to make me speed it up or make it more rough, I do not allow him to rush it. I am in charge today and I want to make it more than just a fuck, just a climax. I want to show him how much I love him, how much I trust him...

He lies on my chest afterwards, silently crying and whispering how much he loves me into my neck.

I’m scared.


	16. Chapter 16

It is evening when we finally land in New Orleans. We take a car with tinted windows, I don’t need the witches run around the city announcing that Klaus Mikaelson is back. I know I’m making him nervous, but I can’t talk to him right now, all I can do is to clutch his hand in mine. He tries to calm me several times and I allowed it on the plane, allowed him to kiss me and caress me, but now, now I’m fighting to even keep my hand in his. I lose my fight once we’re in the French quarter, I can’t help it, I rip my hand out of his.

“Please stay in the car.” I look at him imploringly. It would be best if I kept their contact to minimum, the less they see each other, the less space there is for untimely revelations. I can see he is getting angry at me, but I just can’t risk it. We’re finally in front of our house and I go for the door when he stops me. He makes me stop and turn to him. He takes my face into his hands and rests his forehead against mine. “Niklaus” my name almost a whisper on his lips “remember that whatever happens in there, if the ritual will or won’t work, I’ll be always here for you, I will always love you.” I can’t hold the tears again, I’m surprised there are any left. I know he wants to give me hope, but what hope I have now? I know that no matter what happens in there, nothing will remain the same and if he remembers? He will hate me, it will be the true end of Always and forever. He gently kisses me “Go, I’ll wait for you to come for me.” With one last look into the love filled eyes of my only true love I exit the car and go to meet my doom.

 

The moment I step into the courtyard a body slams into mine, then another and another. It’s my siblings, Bekah, Kol and Freya. “Brother! What took you so long!?” Bekah smacks my arms, my dear little sister, always so bad with showing her true emotions, always trying to hide them behind pretended anger.

“I’m here Bekah, I’m here. You don’t have to worry anymore” I smile lightly kissing the crown of her head while she puffs up and mutters that she was in no way worried about me. Freya is gently smiling at us, while Kol snuggles under my arm. I pull him close and hug him tight, resting my cheek on top of his head. Poor little brother, he was never so long without us unless daggered. He pretends to be strong and independent, but he was barely seventeen when turned and some parts of him are still frozen in that age, he needs his family.

I look around, searching for my daughter, but I can’t see her. It is only Marcellus, Davina, Haley, Vincent and that girlfriend of Freya’s. Haley understands immediately who I’m searching for: “She is upstairs, come with me” I gently pry myself from Kol’s grip, leading him to Davina. I don’t like that girl, never did. She is too stubborn, too righteous, but I can not deny that she is good for Kol, she keeps him in check.

We ascend the stairs, slowly approaching Hope’s old room when Haley stops me: “Where is he? You promised that he will be here, we can’t do the ritual without him!” “Don’t worry little wolf, your Elijah will be here soon” Oh, how did it pain me to call him hers, he belongs to me, not her. But I know that once he remembers he will go straight to her, I just hope she will make him happy. He deserves it, they both do. “What is it that you are not saying Nik? He really does not have a new girl?” Ugh, I’ve never met more stubborn person than her, she should be a badger, not a wolf, when she catches onto something, nothing will make her to let it go. I’m really getting annoyed by that and it can be heard in my voice: “Look Haley, I already told you. He does not have a new girlfriend, I never saw him with any” that at least is truth “Can you keep this interrogation after the ritual? I’m about to see Hope, my daughter I did not see for more than six years!” She scoffs at me, clearly unimpressed, then she was always immune to my anger. “Okay” she consents “but I must warn you, the girl in that room is no longer your sweet little princess. She hit the puberty pretty hard and lets say that she took after me.” with that she turned around and left me on my own.

My Hope in puberty? What a strange thought, I still see her like the cute seven years old. I hesitantly knock on the door, but no answer. I know she is in there, I can hear her heartbeat, so I knock again and again. I can hear sounds from the inside, stomping? And suddenly the door fly open “What!” yells the girl at the top of her lungs “oh, it’s you. Finally decided to stop fooling around and come home?” I stare at her disbelievingly. This is my Hope? The sweet girl that liked to paint with me? There is nothing sweet or girlish about her. She is wearing extremely short denim shorts, white tank top and so much makeup and jewelry that her true face is barely visible. I must push down my need to take off my jumper and hand it to her. “Hello Hope” I tentatively start “you are so grown up...”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you bail on your family and do not show up for six years.”

“Bail? I did not bail on you! You must know that I was forced to leave to protect you!” I can’t believe what I’m hearing, she though I left her?

“So thousands years old witch mojo can now travel through phone? That’s what you were afraid of? That is why you never called, never wrote?”

Called? I..I don’t know why I did not call or text, now that she mentioned it it seems like the most logical solution. I don’t know what to say, I’m standing there imitating a fish out of the water. “Yeah, I thought so. You have no excuse. You are the shittiest father in the world and I hate you! Get out!” She slams the door in my face.


	17. Chapter 17

I’m nervously sitting in the car, waiting for Niklaus to come back. I play with the cuffs of my shirt, secretly wishing I was wearing a suit instead of just white shirt and dress pants, but Nikaus talked me out of wearing one. He thought it would be too much. I want to make the best impression, but it is hard if you know virtually nothing about the people you are striving to impress. What if they hate me? What if I hate them? I like the idea of Henri having lots of aunts and uncles that would protect him if anything happens to us, but what if they are psychopaths? I mean they are thousand years old vampires and if they have only half of the issues my Niklaus has…

I try to take my mind off of it, I start to look around, admiring the famous French quarter. I imagined it…. Bigger? Prettier? It is not bad, but comparing to Paris or London, it’s not much.

My musings are interrupted by door opening, it is Niklaus but instead of pulling me out he slides in.

“What happened? Will the ritual not work?”

“It will, I just…. Just give me a second.” he looks like he’s almost crying and trying to push it down.

“What happened beloved? Who hurt you?” I’m glad when I feel him curl under my arm. He snuggles closer and tries to explain: “It was my daughter. She accused me of not caring about her, about being the worst father in the world. She said she hates me” he finishes in almost whisper.

“Oh love, I’m so sorry. Give it little bit of time, she will come around. Maybe we should take her with us after the ritual, I’m sure Henri would love to meet his big sister.” I try to cheer him up.

“NO! No she won’t come with us! She was right, I was never suited to be a parent. I did not call her or write her even once during last six years! Those are six birthdays without a present, without me saying how much I love her….”

I don’t know what to say to that, how to convince him he is a good parent. I could see it with my very own eyes, he was the best Daddy Henri could wish for. Always being there for him, always supporting him and willing to play with him. I can not imagine him being the man who does not call his daughter for six years.

“Look at me” I take his face and make him look me in the eyes “I don’t know why you did not call her, why did you act this way, BUT I know what you need to do now.

We will get out of the car, walk into that building and vanquish that witch bitch once and for all. Once that thing is gone, you will have the eternity to make it up to Hope, to make sure she knows how much you love her and how much you regret not calling, do you understand?!”

I wait till he nods in consent and then gently steer him out of the car. I can not wait till this whole circus is over and we can return to our calm lives in London.

 

We walk into the courtyard and I almost grab his hand, it is an instinct when facing off 8 powerful strangers. Luckily I catch myself soon enough to not reveal our true relationship.

Everybody is staring at me like they’ve seen a ghost. Niklaus moves slightly, placing himself between me and the strangers. “Everybody, this is Elijah. He is my friend” he puts odd emphasis on that word, almost like it pains him call me that “he agreed to be the fourth vampire to power the ritual. We have a long flight behind us, so if you could start moving”.

Most of them nod in consent, except this dark haired girl standing in the corner, she keeps staring at me and I have a feeling like I should know her, like I’ve met her before. We stand against each other, our eyes locked until the tall blond one touches my arm. I startle, almost throwing her hand away instinctively. “Shh, it’s okay. I didn't mean to scare you. I’m Freya” she looks at him imploringly. What is it with them and their weird looks? Everybody is looking at me like they want to see the inside of my head. “I will be performing the ritual. I will need you to stand on that mark and not to move, you cannot break that circle otherwise it will be all for nought” she points to a complicated circle of patterns drawn on the floor, she makes me stand on one of the bigger marks in the outside circle. Niklaus is on the opposite site, while a shorter blond girl is on my right side and a young boy on my left. There is one more circle, a smaller one drawn on the inside, it is copying the one where we stand. Four of the remaining people step inside, I presume these are the witches that will take the power.

The blond witch, Freya, starts the incantation. I expected the spell to be in latin, but she is using something different, it sounds ancient. I don’t understand the words, but I can feel something steering in the air around us, it is somehow harder to breath. When the other three witches pick up the incantation as well, I feel like my chest is constricting, I look at Niklaus worried, but I can see him looking at one of the younger witches in the circle beseechingly. Is that Hope? Ugh, why didn’t he introduce me first.

I’m torn from my thoughts by a strong gust of wind and suddenly a blue light surrounds us. It is coming from us! It looks like the light is trapped inside the circle and there are voices in it, old, young, pleading and threatening. The four witches inside of the circle start to chant faster and faster until the words are no longer legible, instead sounding like a buddhist mantra. There are now faces visible inside the light, mostly children, they are crying and pleading… it is breaking my heart. All I want to do is just stop and hug them, tell them that everything will be okay, that no one will hurt them anymore. I hear sobbing from the others vampires as well, but they do not relent, so I take my last courage and do not break the circle either.

The pitch of the screaming changes afterwards, it becomes more enraged and accusing. It does not speak in any particular language, but I still understand what is it trying to say: “You are a monster, an abomination. You don’t deserve to live, do not deserve his love. You forced him to be with you, a stalker! Who could love you? You are a murderer!” the words continue, but I’m not, cannot listen to it anymore. I know it is the witch, she is trying to find a way how to break us, to find a weakness, but despite that there is truth is her words. They are the words I tell myself in the dark of the night.

I hear anguished scream from the other side, it’s Niklaus and it breaks the spell the creature has on me, because it is Niklaus and my every instinct is screaming at me to protect him.

“Niklaus!” I yell as loud as I can, trying to penetrate the wall of light between us “Niklaus, do not listen to her! I love you! I always will, we belong together!”

“But she is right! I am a monster, everyone hates me, everyone always leaves me!”

“NO! I won’t! I promise I won’t”

There is no response from his side of the circle, but after a while the storm of blue light slows down a little, the four witches are visible in the center, they are connected to the lights around us, strings of it merging with their bodies.

The light continues to flow from us into the middle and then into the witches, it’s getting thinner and thinner when suddenly I feel a pressure on my chest. It feels like someone is trying to rip my heart out. There is a sharp tug and there is a blackened piece of bone flowing in front of my chest. I can see the same happened to the others as well, each has a different bone. They start to flow into the middle of the circle of witches. There is a bang and a pressure wave and suddenly silence.

“Did it work?” Asks the dark haired woman looking towards Freya. The blond looks around and flexes her hands, blue sparkles dance around her fingers.

“Yes! She is gone! We did it!”

Everyone starts to hug and kiss, I did not realize how many couples there is. I start towards Niklaus because for sure now it would be okay to show them our love, but before I get to him I have my hands full of the dark haired girl. She jumps at me, wrapping her legs around my waist and kisses me fully on my lips. I’m so shocked I do not react for a second and she manages to stick her tongue down my throat. That’s it! I grab her and throw her across the yard, how dare she touch me! And where is Niklaus?

He still stands across of me, not moving. What is with him? If this happened before, he would literally rip the person in half and now nothing? Who is she? Well, if he is not going to be the one to defend our love then I will!

“How dare you to touch me!” I stride towards Niklaus, but her next words stop me “You are mine! I’m not going to share with some slut you’ve found!”

Hers? “Yours? I do not belong to you, I belong to him” I point towards the man I consider my one and only.

“What?” is heard from all sides, when the smaller blond girl charges Niklaus and punches him in shoulder.

“What did you do to him? Hmm? What did you do you pervert?! I heard him, I heard him telling you he will love you forever and never leave, what tricks did you play Nik?


	18. Chapter 18

“What tricks did you play Nik?” Bekah screams into my face. I know there is no way how to get away with this, so I look towards Marcellus.

“Cancel the compulsion.” My brother does not deserve to be hurt and confused even more and he would certainly be  without all his memories.

“What is happening Niklaus?” Elijah’s tone is demanding, but I can recognize the panic beneath it.

I can not force myself to look into his eyes, I am such a coward. “We knew each other before we’ve met in France. You were the reason I was there, I was so worried something would happen to you. But you were all right, but then….” My throat is suddenly so dry, I can not say it. Not in front of them. I can see the looks Bekah and Haley are giving me, I can see the judgement. At least little sis already figured out what happened, alway so insightful, and she hates me already. I can feel her gaze burning into me, accusing, judging. I can not bare it.

“Please Elijah, just let Marcellus take off the compulsion. He was the one to take your memories, he is the one that can give them back. You will understand then.”

I can see them all surrounding them, suddenly excited to have Elijah back, all the while my world is crumbling beneath my feet. I subconsciously move closer to the door, I’ll do anything to avoid physical fight with Elijah, even run. I know I would deserve every blow, every hit I’ve got, I would deserve death even, but I don’t want him to have me on his hands. He would blame himself eventually, I know him.

Despite knowing how it will end I stay, unable to leave, unable to shut down the little voice of hope, the little what if? I need to see it with my own eyes, I can read him like no one else, I will be able to tell if there is still chance for redemption.

I move so I have a clear view of his eyes and listen to Marcell’s words. I can see the very moment they took hold. He looks confused at first, then happy when our siblings hug him, but I see his eyes roaming around, still little out of it until they stop on me.

I hold my breath, this is it. This is the moment I saw in my nightmares for the last six years.

The smile freezes on his face, joy is replaced by sadness and finally the last straw, hatred. There is a pure hatred in his eyes when he looks at me, for the first time in our long lives he truly hates me.

There is only one thing to do:

“Now you see brother” I whisper and flee, flee as fast and far as I manage.


	19. Chapter 19

I sit in a chair in living room, trying to sort out my mind. Trying to clean up the mess Marcellus’ compulsion created. I feel numb, not feeling, it’s like I am a statue. My family surrounds me, accusations and hypothesis flying around. They clearly expect me to join in on their raging, to yell, to cry, to do anything else than to sit in a chair not speaking.

I can’t rage, can’t curse Niklaus, because no matter if I think of him as lover or as brother, the blame is on me…

There is only one time when I interfere the conversation flying around me. It is when Haley convinced everyone they should chase down Niklaus and bring him back, to make him admit the truth.

“STOP!” I roar and it is so unexpected that no one makes a sound. “I forbid you to go after Niklaus, you will let him be! You’re not going to chase him, call him or locate him.” I look to Freya who already has a medallion and map ready. “You will in no way interfere. Am I understood?!” they all nod mutelly, even though I can see that not all of them are sincere. “This is my last word. I’m going upstairs, I need to sleep, fix the mess in my brain. No one will disturb me!” with that I turn around and run upstairs. I’m very tempted to take Niklaus’ bedroom, but I need to lick my wounds and that wouldn’t probably be the healthiest place for me.

 

I spend the next night and day in bed, just lying on top of the covers. Every moment, every word exchanged with Niklaus over last six years running through my head. I’m looking at them from his point of view, how he had to feel when his own brother kissed him, stalked him.

How desperate and alone he had to feel.

And when I followed him to Switzerland? I basically manipulated him into a sexual relationship, I threatened to leave to get him, to quench my obsession with him. Now I know that it was not true passion, but a fear of abandonment that made him consent.

I...I basically raped my own brother. I hate myself for it and this hate for hurting him was the first true emotion I felt after my memories returned. The pain in his gaze was my judge and jury, I know he will never forgive me for taking this from him, taking the only people he did trust, his own family.

And the ironic thing is? Everybody will think it is his fault.

Sometimes I hate this picture everyone has of me. I crafted it for centuries, increasing my control until I lost myself in it. These few years with Niklaus showed me, that that is not who I am and I’m not sure if I ever want to be that person again. The Noble one, what a pile of crap.

 

What should I do next? Should I run after Niklaus? I want to, I really do. To convince him to forgive me, to return to London, back to our little happily ever after.

Because I believe he was eventually happy with me and he started to love me more than like a brother.

There is a knock on my door, it is not the first one, both Rebekah and Hayley tried to get in, but I ignored them. This is Kol and of course little brother won’t  get chased away by simple silence. He doesn’t even wait for my consent, just opens the door and walks in.

“You look like shit dear brother”

I really am in no mood for his teasing, so I just roll onto my side, showing him my back. Instead of leaving like I intended to he sits on the bed, right behind me.

“Come on Elijah, do not sulk, we’re worried about you…”

Somehow that is the last straw….

“About me? You are worried about me? And what about Niklaus? Your brother, who is hurt and god knows where. The one I hurt, the one I forced to be with me! You all blame him, you always did. The convenient victim, even our parents blamed what they could on my Niklaus. No one ever considers why he is doing what is he doing, how does your betrayal over and over again makes him feel!”

Instead of storming out like I expected, Kol places his hand on my arm. “Calm down brother. I’m not here to blame him for everything. I have no idea what exactly happened in the last few years, so how do I know who is to blame?”

“Really? But… but Hayley and Bekah…”

“Hayley is a woman scorned” he interrupts me “She waited for you for all these years, expecting that once this shit is over, you will fall back into her arms, only for you to look at your own brother, a man she has a child with I might add, the way you’ve never looked at her, not really. She is jealous and sad and that makes her angry. And our little sis, you know I noticed it a long time ago, how Bekah goes from hating Nik to declaring him her favorite brother. I don’t know what is with her, where this is coming from but it worries me sometimes.”

I look back at Kol, looking at him properly for the first time in several years “When did you get so smart and mature little brother? Davina certainly does you good.”

“I was always the smartest of us!” he laughs and jostles my shoulder.

“But really Kol, what would you think about me and Niklaus being in a relationship together?”

“I would say that you to two deserve each other, his crazy can be matched only by your own.”

I continue to look at him, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Oh come on Elijah, I am not a prude. I have nothing against two men together, it’s me, Kol! I don’t think there is anything sexual I didn't try yet.”

“I did not need this mental picture, Kol! But really, the fact that we’re brothers means nothing to you?”

“Elijah, you belong together. You balance each other. I can see that and so does everyone else. Whether your relationship will be as brothers or lovers that’s up to you two. I will support you no matter what.”

“Thank you Kol, it means a lot to me.” I hug him close.

“Now come on big brother, we have visitors. There are some strange wolves in our yard and they claim to belong to Nick.”

 

The whole London’s pack is down there, facing off Haley, Marcell and Bekah. They are clearly ready for fight. I spot Henri at the back, sitting on one of the female packmembers arms. He looks terrified, crystal blue eyes wide and looking around.

“Step down!” I command from the top of the staircase and run towards my son. Because no matter who I am or what I remember, Henri is my baby. And he needs me right now. The moment I get to him the floods break out and with pitiful “Papa!” he falls into my arms, crying his eyes out.

“Shhh sweatheath, don’t you cry. Papa is here, everything is alright. Nothing to be scared off.”

I am completely focused on him, Henri is always my priority, but as his cries slowly die down I can not ignore the tension between the pack and my family. It looks like they tried to come nearer, to see what I’m doing, but were blocked by the pack. The growling on both sides slowly intensifies, just a minute now and it will come to blows. So I come to the front, Henri still in my arms and look at the pack.

“Jeremy?” I ask one of the older members “what happened? Why are you here?”

“We’ve got orders from Alpha, he called last night and asked us to bring Henri to you and to protect you, he said he must go away and cannot do it himself.”

So Niklaus is not planning on coming back.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is still Elijah POV, all the following will be as well until I say it's Nik again

Almost paralyzing sadness overcomes me and I hug my son closer. He is the only thing I have left, my only memento of my perfect life. 

NO! I cannot think like that! I will find him, I’ll just give him few days to calm down and I will follow him and I’ll make him come back. I cannot imagine my life, Henri’s life without him.

“Are you planning on staying?” I ask Jeremy, I would love for them to stay, to help me search for Niklaus, but I know they can’t stay for too long. They need  to return to their own lives and families. “We will, at least for few days. We just need to find a place to stay.”

“You can stay here, there is plenty of room and I would feel much better having you close to me.”

“I’m not sure we’re welcome here” he nods behind me, my whole family is there, looking unsure and slightly threatening.

“Don’t worry Jeremy.” This is my family, my brother and sisters and their loved ones.

I shortly explain who are the wolves, how they’ve got here and that they will stay with us for now. I’m planning on introducing Henri to his aunties and uncle when I’m stopped by Jeremy one last time.

“He asked me to give you this” he is handing me a small, white envelope. “He did not say what it is, he just gave me instructions how to find it and to tell you, that you should read it when alone.” I nod in thanks and pocket the envelope.

Then I finally get to approache my siblings. “Freya, Bekah, Kol, let me introduce you newest member of our family. This is Henri Mikaelson, my and Niklaus’ son.” I feel myself swelling with pride.

“Well hello cutie pie, I’m your Auntie Bekah” Rebekah is the first one to introduce herself, her arms already reaching out to Henri. Apparently the fact that I claim the child is both mine and Niklaus’ is not an issue, her mother instinct completely ignores it.

I look down at him, trying to judge whether he will be willing to be held by others, but he snuggles into my chest. “There is too many people around, right angel? Let Papa take you somewhere more quiet. Let’s go to Daddy’s office, you’ll like that” I march towards the house, knowing that being in a room with a familiar scent, even old will help reassure him.

I notice they all followed me and even picked up others, Davina and Hope are both there too. Looks like they could be friends, they are closest in age here after all.

 

Henri gets bolder and bolder, soaking up the attention like a sponge. Bekah finally convinced him to leave my lap and go play with her. I quickly run out from the room to make sure the wolves are settling in all right. I desperately want to be alone, to see what he wrote me, but I know that would be impossible until Henri is asleep.

“Papa, papa! Come quick!” I speed into the room to stop at a picture of Henri pulling Davina by her hand. “Look papa, look! It’s magic!” he yells excitedly, jumping up and down. There are green flames dancing in the palm of her hand.

“That is really cool, angel.”

“Where is daddy? I want to show him too!” I can feel everyone in the room to freeze.

“Daddy is not here now Henri.”

“When he’s back?”

I squat down to be on his eye level and turn him to face me. “Daddy had to go away and I’m not sure when he is coming back, but I promise you, he will as soon as he can, okay?” I can see him pouting and know, that he is not far away from tears so I try to distract him:

“But you know what?”

“What?”

“He did not want to make you sad, so he brought you here where your Uncle Kol and aunties live. And you know who is that girl?”

“No, papa, who is she?” he is so adorable, he is holding his breath like he expects me to tell him that she is Spiderman (Henri loves Spiderman).

“That is your big sister and the man in the door?” I point to Marcellus who just walked in “that is your big brother!” I say with as much cheer I can muster.

“Nooo, they can’t be! They are too big, siblings are small don’t you know papa? Just like Tommy’s sister” Tommy, one of his friends recently got a new baby sister and Henri was very fascinated by how small she is.

“Some siblings are small, but others are bigger. Will you go and say hello?”

  
  


He is finally asleep, I made him bed in Niklaus’ old room, so he can feel his presence, no matter how fleeing. Now I have finally time. I lock myself into my room, I do not want to be disturbed and open the letter:

 

_ My beloved Elijah. _

 

_ My love for you was always what drove me forward. _

_ Since we were children, you took care of me and gave me the love our parents never could. _

_ I realize now that most of the bad things I did were to test the limits of your love for me, to test what I need to do for you to forsake me once and for all, just like they did.  _

_ I know you’ve stopped truly loving me a long time ago, it was just your noble heart that kept you by my side. I do not deserve you, I never did. _

_ I am a monster, an abomination, just like Father said. _

_ It is my fault you became a vampire, my fault you tarnished your soul with murder and bloodlust. I am the source of all the sorrow our family had to endure. I do not deserve mercy and please, I beg you, do not blame yourself for my mistakes and insecurities. I’ve never blamed you, not even when you helped Father whip me after Henrik’s death, nor after you tried to kill me. _

_ I want you to know how happy I was when you followed me back to New Orleans, when you decided to live with me again. _

_ Then the Hollow came and I thought  you’ve met your true death. I couldn’t breath, sleep or think before you were returned to my side. I started to look for ways how to kill myself once and for all, for immortality is my worst curse. _

_ But then you lived! Lived, but I had to stay away. _

_ I tried so hard to stay away. _

_ I know you think I’ve taken advantage of you, but it is not like that. Just for once in my life I wanted to be the source of your joy and not your sorrow. _

_ I don’t know if I’ve fallen in love with you or if I loved you for all these centuries, but you must believe that my love for you is genuine. My only hope is, that one day you’ll be able to forgive me my deception. _

_ Be happy my love, I’m setting you free, you won’t see me again. I found a way how to break my curse. Please do not waste your time trying to find me, you won’t.  _

_ Please remember me and know that you are my one true love. I would do anything for you, but I cannot exist in this world without your love anymore. _

  
  


_ Forever yours, _

_ Niklaus _

  
  


Way to break his curse? But he said his curse is immortality… Wait! Is he… is he trying to kill himself?!


	21. Chapter 21

I felt very, very strange. There was a roaring inside my head, and my stomach seemed to have vanished entirely. I stood up, stumbled a little. My feet seemed very far away. Despite not needing to breath for more than thousand years I could not catch a breath.

I don’t remember getting out of the room, or getting into Freya’s, but suddenly I am there, sitting at the floor, clutching the letter to my chest. All sounds are muted until they are not and I am attacked by cacophony of sounds.

“Elijah!, Elijah, calm down, calm down!” it is Rebekah, kneeling beside me, trying to make me look at her. I look into her eyes, so similar to Niklaus’, but I can not talk. I can not say it at loud, it would make it real. My Niklaus can’t be dead! I would have felt it if he died!

“What is it what he’s holding?” that’s Marcell. I did not realize the room was so full, they were all there, even some of the wolves.

It is Jeremy who figures it of course. He drops to his knees in front of me “Is it the letter from Alpa? What did he say? Where is he?”

It takes all my courage to say it, but they deserve to know. They must know that they should hate me too, because if it wasn’t for me, Niklaus would be here, with them, with Hope. It is no more than a whisper, a croak, but you don’t have to be loud in a room full of supernatural creatures.

“He is dead, he killed himself.”

There are gasps and shouts all around me, most of them disbelieving and full of pain, but the ones from the wolves are somehow different, it is not denial I can hear in their voices, it is certainty.

“Look at me Elijah, he is not dead.” I look at him with eyes full of doubt, I wish he was saying the truth but how could that be? Niklaus would not lie to me, not about this and now when I look back I saw it in his eyes before he left, sadness, defeat, hopelessness...

“He is not, I am sure” repeats Jeremy more forcefully “I can feel him Elijah, we all can feel him” he points to the other wolves in the room and they all nod. “If he would be dead, the pack hierarchy would shift, we would have to choose a new alpha, our instincts won’t allow us to stay without one for a longer period of time. So I repeat, he is not dead. At least not yet.”

Hope flares inside my chest, the flame so bright it almost burns me to ashes. There is still time, I can still find him, apologize and convince him that I will love him no matter what and I’ll be always there for him.

I jump up, frantic to find him as soon as possible.

“We need the strongest locator spell you can find!”

 

It’s been three days since that cursed letter arrived, three days of Freya, Hope, Vincent and Davina trying every locator spell they could find and nothing. No a blip.

They kicked me out from their research room, I was apparently driving them crazy with my pacing and snarling, so I made sure there is a wolf at my side at any given moment, they all know they have to tell me if they feel the hierarchy changing. I really, really need a drink, but I do not dare. What if they find him and I will be too drunk to get there in time?

I was never so glad for Bekah, Hayley and Kol before, they took Henri away. They promised him to show him the bayou, the pack living there. I don’t want him to be here, to see the mess I’ve become. He is smart, he would put two and two together. 

 

My phone rings and I pick it up without even looking at the caller’s ID.

“Niklaus?”

“Ehh, no. This is Caroline” an annoying voice sounds from the other side. I always disliked the girl, always bothered by her lack of manners and annoying personality, but now when I think about it, maybe some part of it was jealousy, jealousy because my brother liked her.

“What do you want?” I try not to be rude, but I keep imagining them together, the little slut kissing my Niklaus.

“It is about your brother…”

“My brother?!” I interrupt her excitedly. The pack members surrounding me immediately look up, I can almost see their human ears twitching how hard they are listening to my call. I’m not the only one who misses Niklaus.

“Do you know where he is? Tell me NOW!”

“He is… he is with Bonnie, they are working on some kind of spell. There is something wrong with him. You”

“Tell me where you stupid cow! Is he in Mystic Falls?” So I lost my temper a little bit,  sue me.

“Yes, he”

I end the call. I don’t need to hear more. I know where he is, I don’t need to listen to her anymore. I turn to the wolves.

“He is in Mystic Falls! Gather everyone and meet me there. I’m going to run”

With that I speed out. The others will take a plane, but I can not imagine myself sitting in a plane, confined to such a small space. I will rather run, even if the time would be probably the same.

 

I do not stop, I can’t. Running through woods and towns, my clothes crumpled and ripped, but I do not stop. The only thing I can think of is getting there on time, is finding him before it is too late, before he…. No! I won’t even consider it, I will be on time! I will get there and I will make sure he is with me and won’t leave me ever again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is very short, but I will post next one soon. And that one will be Klaus POV.  
> Also, I did not see VD since season 3, so there might be something that happened there I'm not taking into consideration, hope you won't mind.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus POV

How ironic. After all these years this is where I die.

I always knew this godforsaken town will be my doom. My mother would find it poetic, this is where it started, this is where it ends. Her greatest shame, biggest mistake.

 

I convinced the little Bennett witch to help me. I gave her my mother’s spell, the one she used on Kol and Finn, the one that moved their souls into human bodies. There is a man in the hospital, brain dead. She will move my soul into his body and then kill me.

Tonight.

I just hope that I’m not wrong, the plan is to die human, to make sure I will not be trapped behind the veil, so no one can resurrect me. I want a clean end, simple death.

 

I roam the woods of my youth alone, reminiscing about my siblings and our carefree days. I’m oddly calm, in a way I feel like my soul is already separated from this body. The strongest being, the original hybrid. What a farce.

I may be strongest physically, but I can admit that I am weak now. Oh, how would Mikael laugh at me right now. I can almost hear him.

_ “I always knew you were a weakling, boy! Only a weak man would choose to kill himself! You are the greatest shame of my family. Your siblings will be better off without you. They will be finally free of you. And Elijah? He can finally find someone worthy of him, someone who will love my perfect son the way he deserves. He will dance tonight, celebrating he got rid of his burden.” _

Elijah… I hope he forgets me. If I could I would tell Marcell to compel him again, to make him forget his unworthy, cowardly brother.

I sit in a place where the white oak tree used to be and pull out my phone. I put it into airplane mode when I left, so no one can reach me. I think of calling him one last time, I long to hear his voice one more time. But no, I can’t. I am weak and he is my Achilles heel, I would not be able to go through the ritual if he would forbid it. But would he? Wouldn’t he be glad? Wouldn’t he tell me to kill myself already? I deceived him, lied to him and made him fall in love with a fake. For I know he loved me, he truly thought of me as his partner, lover, even husband. I was different then, the fact he did not remember my past sins, all those betrayals made me different. It made me want to be the man he deserves, someone he can be proud of, not the monster I truly am.

 

I stay there all day, looking at the pictures of him, our son and our pack. It seems like a different life, like a dream to me. But as it is with all dreams they must end and I need to wake up to face the reality.

“Are you ready?” the Bennett witch stands behind me. I did not even hear her come near, I hastily wipe away the tears and turn to her.

“I am, are you?” I am still unsure how I convinced her to do this, she was always so pure, so righteous. But as every witch she wants to return balance and vampires are against it. I’m looking into her eyes, trying to find a doubt, a falsehood. What if she transfers me into that body and then leaves me like that? Let me lie crippled in a hospital bed for years till the body dies? But do I have any other options?

“Yes, I already prepared the body. The spell is genius in itself, but with your mother’s grimoar I will have no problems completing it. All we need now is the moon. Where you want to do it? In the hospital?”

“No, I don’t want that. I want to do it here, where I was born. Will you promise me something?”

“What?” she looks at me suspiciously.

“If after I move into that body and I won’t be able to move, could you try to move me here before killing me?”

“I promise I’ll do my best.”

 

“The moon will be at its peak in twenty minutes, we will start then.”

I nod to show I heard her and slowly move to lie in the middle of the circle she made. We’re in a middle of a clearing so the skies will be my last witness, the stars are especially beautiful tonight. I’m looking at them and let my mind drift until the stars turn into Elijah’s face.

He is looking at me lovingly, gently smiling. I love that smile more than anything. He used to smile at me like that when I was young, I only now realize how long I did not see it. How sad it is that he had to lose all his memories of his family for me to see it again. Despite that I really hope this will be my last memory, him smiling at me like that, it makes me warm inside, gives me courage to face the end.

I can hear the witch moving around, starting a chant, but I disregard it. There is nothing more for me in the world than Elijah’s face in the stars. Is it possible that he is looking at the same stars right now?

“I love you Elijah, more than anything.”

“I love you too” the stars seem to whisper back. I smile and close my eyes.

I can feel the magic taking hold, I feel like someone is tugging at my chest. My body is feeling weightless, like a gust of wind could blow me away. I can’t hear anything, just wind rustling the leaves.

I don’t think I am in my body anymore, so I look up for the last time, immersing myself into those beloved eyes. “Goodbye my love…” the world blacks out.

 

I feel a snap, like I am sucked into a long black tube. It is a dizzying feeling and I close my eyes for a second, expecting to wake up in a hospital room the moment I open them.

But there is no hospital, no beeping of the machines, I’m held against a tree by a hand wrapped around my neck, looking into enraged eyes of my beloved brother.

“I warned you once already! DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME!” he slams me into the tree with every word, but I smile, because he is here and I can tell him how much I love him for one last time.

“Beloved Elijah” I say gently, his hand still resting on my throat, but no longer constring it. “I’m so glad I can see you for one last time, I saw you in the stars but nothing in the world can match your true presence. Thank you for giving this to me. Will you give me one last kiss?”

“NO!”

“No?” the dizzy, relaxed state I was in since the beginning of the ritual slips away with that word. I suddenly realize that he is not here to help me, he is here… Why is he here? How?

“Why are you here Elijah?”

“Why? WHY? You dare to ask me what I want here? Like I am a stranger to you, someone you meet by chance on a street? Like you are not the love of my life and are not trying to leave me?” I can see tears streaming down his face, this is not what I expected. I expected him to be little sad about my death yes, but eventually realizing that this is best for everyone, he and the whole family will be so much better off without me.

I swallowed and looked down, sighing dejectedly. "Please leave... Do not do this..."   
"I will not make excuses for what I've done. I will not try to justify hurting you with my decisions. I... You are within your right to be angry with me. I gave you my vow, Niklaus - always and forever - and I have broken it too many times. But I know we can fix this, I know I can make you forgive me."

“I should forgive you?” I laugh humorlessly “there is nothing to forgive, it is me who deceived you when you did not remember me, it is me that made you sleep with your own brother, betray Hayley…”

“You are such an idiot, we both are” he gently lifts my chin, making me look into his eyes. “I love you Niklaus, I always did. You are the most important person in my life and if you’d kill yourself today? I would soon follow, maybe I would be able to wait till Henri is older, but trust me when I say my life would be empty without you, you are the reason of my existence.”

I’m looking into his eyes, trying to find a trace of deception, of the reason why he is saying it. Is it just brotherly duty? Is he sacrificing himself and his life to make sure I would not kill myself? 

 

“Oh my god you too are a case for a shrink, kiss already!”

“Bekah!” he turns sharply around, our whole family is standing behind him. When did they get there?

“Come on, I know you want to! I want to see it!”

“Pervert” he murmurs under his breath, but turns around and kisses me like his life depends on it. I faintly hear the whistles and catcalls coming from behind him, but my focus is on him and his warm lips on mine. He ends the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “If you try something like this again, I will lock you in a dungeon and keep you there, understood?”

I just nod, tears of joy tightening my throat not allowing me to speak, but it’s enough for him.

“Good, let's get out of this horrible place, I don’t want to see Mystic Falls ever again” with that he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. Laughter flies through the woods, laughter and one very manly squeak. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> Just a heads up.  
> I have few ideas for few short stories from this universe and I will add them to this series once I have them, but I do not plan on writing another such a long part.
> 
> If you have something you would like to see, do not hesitate to leave a prompt in a comment or something.
> 
> Thanks!


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